Is Children’s Ministry Worth The Effort?

A few years ago, I would have said that children’s ministry is a waste of time. I understand why that makes me sound like a jaded, single, child-hating twenty-something. However, I’m a married woman with five children who is turning forty sooner than later. Oh, and I love kids. In fact, I am the weird lady giving random children goofy grins at the grocery store because I can’t help but smile at them.

For me, the root of my concern was not a general dislike for kids. I just wasn’t seeing a lot of notable outcomes from children’s ministries. My mind has changed regarding this issue over the last few years, though. Currently, I do think that children’s ministry is worth the effort, but I believe the Church may need to take a closer look at its tactics.

The Case For Children’s Ministry

I didn’t grow up in church, so I am not as familiar with children’s ministries as many other Christians. Types of popular ministries for kids I hear about often from Christians I know include Awana, King’s Kids, Vacation Bible School (VBS), Sunday school, youth group, Christian camp, Lifeway Kids Ministry, and Kids4Truth Clubs. In addition to regularly scheduled classes and VBS, some churches put on carnivals, block parties, trunk-or-treats, seasonal festivals, etc.

Depending on a church’s location and the surrounding population, these sorts of events and classes can attract a lot of people. Importantly, kids who would not ordinarily come to a church may come to a kid-friendly event with the promise of food, fun, and other friends.

Kids Are Professing Christ

Getting people through the door is one thing, but what about the results? Are these kids receiving anything more than a hot dog and bag of candy when they come to that church carnival? Yes.

According to a 2012 Barna study, 43% of Americans who identify as being born-again were saved before their thirteenth birthday. The same study reports that 64% of born-again Americans were saved before turning eighteen.

These statistics clearly demonstrate that childhood is an important time in a person’s life to hear the gospel. It only makes sense for churches to reach out to this demographic. An added bonus to children’s ministry is that kids are easier to engage than adults. With enough fun, play, and food nearly any kid will listen to you for a few minutes. And those few minutes could have eternal consequences.

Kids Need Children’s Ministry

The world today doesn’t look like it did when our grandparents were young. The general public is not biblically literate, and church attendance doesn’t offer a higher societal standing anymore. Frankly, most people aren’t all that interested in whether or not you believe in any god at all just so you don’t make them hear about it.

In 2021, CNBC reported that 29% of American adults have no religious affiliation at all. Also, 32% of U.S. adults rarely or never pray.

In addition to Americans not relating to anything religious, those with a religious affiliation are attending church less often. Median in-person church attendance has dropped 12%. I wonder how much that has to do with increased online services thanks to Covid.

No matter what we claim as the cause, our nation is moving farther away from God. Children aren’t learning about him at school, and they are hearing less about him at home because less parents are interested in spiritual matters. Kids need children’s ministry because they need some place to hear the gospel and see the Christian faith in action.

Red Flags In Children’s Ministry

Before we dive in, let’s clear something up. I’m not talking about your ministry. Well, maybe I am… You decide. It should go without saying that plenty of children’s ministries are doing an amazing job. Nevertheless, a few many churches have taken a wrong turn with children’s ministry. I’ve seen it a lot, and if you think about it for even a moment, you will realize you have, too.

So, don’t internalize what I’m about to say. If these red flags don’t relate to you, fine. But they relate to someone. Many someones.

Being Unprepared For Doubts

The book Already Gone: Why Your Kids Will Quit Church and What You Can Do to Stop It (Ham, Beemer, & Hillard,) dives into answering the question: Why do so many of our kids leave the church when they’re grown? The authors share important statistics (p. 32) regarding when self-described Christians experience their first doubts about whether or not the Bible is true.

10.6% – College

39.8% – Middle School

43.7% – High School

So, 83.5% of Christians who experience doubts about the validity of the Bible begin doing so while they are still school age. This should at least make us question what kids in children’s ministries are being taught. Are they getting Bible accounts delivered to them in the same manner as Cinderella or Pinocchio? The Bible is filled with true history, and our children need to understand that.  

Are children’s ministries addressing doubts? They should. Kids should not just know what to believe, they should know why they believe it. A child will only go along with someone else’s beliefs for so long. Teaching children apologetics makes the Christian faith their own, and they won’t be so easily discouraged about questions that come up along the way.

Questionable Salvation

Focus on the Family reported in 2017 that 11% of young adults who “left the faith” claimed they once had a strong faith. OK, that means the other 89% of young adults who left church did not have a strong faith. Again, I wonder what they are learning in their children’s ministries. A weak faith that is easily left behind doesn’t paint the biblical picture of salvation.

“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.” (emphasis mine)

John 10:28-29

My husband, Chris, went to a Bible camp as a child, and as the service was ending the adults encouraged the children to step forward for baptism. Chris did not really understand the gospel, but he did see kids lining up for this baptism. So, not wanting to disappoint his parents or be the odd one out, he got in line. He refers to it as “getting wet” rather than a baptism. He came to know the Lord at twenty-five years old.

Any one of the camp staff would have assured my husband that he was a believer. Are we assuring kids when our children’s ministry should be challenging them? How many children’s ministries overlook a child’s lack of biblical fruit and love for sin and the world when a she may need gentle, loving correction and guidance?

Some kids will, in fact, make a false profession. We don’t do anyone any good by pretending it doesn’t happen.

Pressure In Children’s Ministry

A lot of kids, by nature, try to comply with the expectations from adults around them. For those kids, responding to a spiritual conversation with, “yes, I want to be saved” may be an attempt to do the “right thing.” I’m not suggesting these children are malicious liars, but they might be trying to give what they are sensing is the correct answer.

Kids also feel pressured by their peers. Much like how my husband wanted to do what the others were doing at his Bible camp, particular kids will respond to lessons, invitations, and questions in concordance with the kids around them. If little Bobby raises his hand to “ask Jesus into his heart,” then little Susie thinks she should, too.

Children’s ministry workers can accidentally perpetuate this pressure problem if they don’t probe a bit about what a child actually thinks salvation means. Don’t assume the child understands until you hear them tell you in their own words.

Not to mention, workers might be phrasing things in a leading way that makes it sound like the child has no other choice.

“You don’t want to go to Hell, do you?”

“Now it’s time to pray for Jesus to come into your heart.”

“Kids who pray for salvation will get a special gift from the church tonight.”

“Nothing in the world would mean more to your parents than if you got saved at camp this week.”

Focus On Fun

I am teaching a class and acting in skits for my church’s VBS the same week I am writing this post. Let me tell you, I am exhausted, and I almost didn’t even write this week.

We are getting up early every day to put on fun, silly, and meaningful skits. The teachers are pouring time and energy into making an environment for the kids that is accepting, loving, safe, and honest. And the game time… So much water. These kids are having a blast.

However, they are not only having fun. They are hearing the gospel, learning about the evidence for God all around them, and even getting a taste of apologetics. I’m so proud of my church for not forgetting the point of VBS. The same can be said for our Sunday School, Children’s Church, King’s Kids, and any other ministry for our children. Fun is wonderful, but Jesus and our faith are the essential components for all our ministries.

Churches are losing sight of the purpose of children’s ministry. If your church is gospel-centered, then I implore you to stay the course. You’re doing a fantastic job. On the other hand, if your children’s ministry is focused on entertainment and “relevance,” then point it out to your leaders and ask for a change. No amount of entertainment and fun will save a child.

Ultimately, children need what unsaved adults need. Jesus Christ. And spoiler, He isn’t hiding in a bouncy house or magic show. Make God’s Word the priority, and add in fun as you can. Not the other way around.

Make Children’s Ministry A Family Ministry

Earlier, I said kids need children’s ministry, but I need to add some nuance now. Kids don’t need watered-down teaching that treats them as if they couldn’t possibly think on biblical things. And their spiritual lives and experiences don’t need to be constantly separated from their families. Let’s start treating our children’s ministry as a family ministry.

Unsaved Family

An article from Churchleaders.com cited parents as children’s biggest spiritual influence. From personal experience, I agree wholeheartedly. This is also a major reason for needing to turn children’s ministry into family ministry.

Picture it: A child comes to your church for VBS. He feels convicted of his sins, receives spiritual counsel, and he gets saved. Praise God! Then, at the end of the week he returns home to parents with no spiritual interest. They send their kids to VBS so their children can play with friends, but they don’t attend any church.

I assume this theoretical boy’s profession of faith is real, but how does his spiritual growth look? More often than not, these children grow into immature Christians. They remain babes in Christ. Are they saved? Yes. But are they living an obedient Christian life? An abundant life in Christ? Serving the Lord with their lives? No, no, no. We should want better for these kids.

The question becomes, “How do we help kids who profess Christ but have an unsaved family?” Answer: We minister to the family. Reach out to them. Invite them to events (with food if you can).

My church’s VBS, for example, is hosting an evening event at the end of the week. The children will show off what they learned, we’ll be giving out gifts to the kids, I’ll embarrass myself in another skit, and our pastor will give the gospel. We always follow up with visiting families, as well.

Reaching children is important, but we help them and their loved ones if we reach their whole family.

Out-Of-Touch Parents

Another way to minister to children is by teaching their parents how to discern their children’s spiritual health, to disciple, and to be spiritual leaders.  

Pew Research shared findings in 2020 about teens’ faith compared to their parents’ faith. Generally, it was good news for parents, but some of the statistics should give us pause.

1. 52% of U.S. teens have “some of the same” beliefs or “quite different” beliefs than their parents.

2. Of the 52% above, 34% claimed that their parents don’t know they have differing beliefs.

3. Parents who did not accurately assess the importance of religion in their child’s life were more likely to overestimate the importance.

A Quick Takeaway: Kids are not “catching” their parents’ beliefs, and parents don’t even know it. In fact, moms and dads are more likely to err on the side of optimism rather than skepticism. And hey, that’s not always bad, but some parents are demonstrating a lack of discernment concerning their children’s spiritual condition in this case.

Parents must learn how to engage in spiritual conversations with their children. We can’t rely on children’s ministry as the sole source of spiritual teaching and discipleship for kids. In fact, it should merely be a supplement to what happens at home.

I can hear the pushback already. “Not all homes have Christian parents or healthy homes.” True. And that is only more reason to minister to the parents, too. In some cases, the parents will be unwilling to engage, and at other times this might be a slowly progressing ministry. Of course, be all you can to those children, but don’t cut out the parents when possible.

Adults Get Saved, Too

I’ve talked about my testimony multiple times on this blog. I was saved at twenty-six years old, and surprised looks are not uncommon when I share that story. Apparently, Christians are not used to salvation being an adult thing.

I recently read an article from 2019 that cited Barna research. The Barna findings stated that approximately 25% of salvations occur after a person turns twenty-one. Based on that statistic, the article deemed adult salvation “rare.” I’m not so sure about that. What if a disease has a 25% death rate? Do we call that rare?

I have two thoughts on this. First, churches may be investing an extreme amount of resources into reaching children while neglecting unsaved adults. We reach out into the community for kids, but unsaved adults essentially need to take it upon themselves to find us. Second, churches are not reaching the parents. Don’t assume the nine-year-old will witness to her parents and get them into church. Oh, don’t count her out, but let’s just not rely on a brand-new Christian (who is a child) to evangelize her parents.

The article shared one more significant number. 50%. That’s the percentage of born-again kids who are led to Christ by their parents. If we redirect some of our effort at entire families, I wonder how many more children would come to a saving knowledge of God because their parents had been reached.

Final Thought

Kids can get saved, and plenty do through children’s ministry. Let’s not forget to be thankful for the dedicated and faithful workers who serve these kids. There are others, though, who leave with false assurance or no grasp of the gospel at all. What should be done?

1. Assess your children’s ministry. Are there red flags? Are there areas of improvement? If yes, then address those issues. Ministry should always be changing as needed. Your approach from 40 years ago may need an update.

2. Check the ministry focus. Gospel. Always gospel. Maybe you want to work on apologetics or Bible history. Sounds great! The gospel belongs there, too. It belongs in everything we do as believers.

3. Remember the parents. They need Jesus, too. Adults can get saved, and those kids would benefit from Christian parents. A Christian family should be the goal.

Is children’s ministry worth it? Absolutely! Let’s work on doing it even better.

Tell me which children’s ministry has had the greatest impact on your life. Why?

Image courtesy of Erika Giraud via Unsplash.