Are Your Reasons To Not Homeschool Actually Excuses?

True story…Sometimes I can come across as someone who only sees her own side (gasp!). I know what I believe and am not easily persuaded. It is especially true with regard to education. I feel very strongly that Christians ought to homeschool their children, but I think it’s important to clarify that there are times and circumstances under which that just won’t happen. Undoubtedly, there are reasons to not homeschool.

Money can make homeschool impossible. Americans sure love to rack up debt, and that debt can take away the freedom to have educational choices. Some people simply have a low income. That low income, especially in particularly expensive places to live, can make homeschool no more than a dream. Of course, others have locked themselves into a lifestyle that requires both parents to work full-time. Outside of money concerns, families can also find themselves dealing with special educational and/or medical needs that require professionals. The parents, themselves, may even have medical concerns that prevent them from homeschooling. So, yeah, I understand there are reasons, even beyond what I have listed, to not pursue homeschooling. These are not the reasons I usually hear, though.

So, what are some “reasons” to not homeschool?

1. “I’m just not patient enough!”

Me either. You know what has increased my patience? You guessed it! Having my patience challenged. And, man alive, my kids test me! Oh, sure, I love them to pieces, but all five have their own ideas and wants. I guarantee they never all want the same thing, and they even more rarely want what I do. Call it character building.

2. “I’m not a teacher.”

False. You are. You’ve been teaching your children from the moment they were born. There’s no reason to think you can’t teach them anymore just because they’ve become kindergarten age. You aren’t qualified to teach a classroom of other people’s kids that follows state and national guidelines, but you can certainly handle your own children’s education.

3. “My kids won’t listen to me.”

This is generally a parenting problem, not a kid problem. Kids usually don’t gravitate toward obedience. Do you? We all have a sin nature and selfish wants. Children are learning how to obey, delay gratification, follow instructions, and prioritize tasks. All this is in addition to the academic and character lessons they are learning, as well. They need consistency, discipline, predictability, and accountability. Give them what they need, and you’ll see them begin to accept you as not just “mom” but as “teacher,” too.

4. “I don’t know all that stuff!”

First of all, teachers don’t know all the stuff either. There’s no doubt that they are educated in their field, but the Literature teacher is unlikely as well-versed in Calculus. Second, we live in a wonderful time in history to homeschool. The number of curriculum options is almost overwhelming. You can use videos/online streaming of instruction or teach from a manual that you just open and read. You can buy an all-in-one curriculum or piece it together. There’s an option for every level of knowledge and comfort. You don’t need to know it all. You can learn together.

5. “I have too many kids.”

Undeniably, it can be a challenge to homeschool with multiple kids. Add babies, or worse…toddlers, to the mix, and it can feel chaotic on a good day. Listen, you learn. You adapt. You work it out. It doesn’t have to look like a classroom out of your local public school. In fact, I hope it looks nothing like that. It should look like whatever works for your family.

6. “I only have one child. Won’t he/she be lonely?”

No. You just have to make an intentional effort. Consider having your only child join teams, clubs, or homeschool co-ops. Get out there, and get involved. And, hey, those neighborhood kids won’t be in school all day, you know. Help them connect and have time with those kids, as well. Also, as a bonus, your school day should be pretty short with one student.

7. “What about sports?”

Um, what about sports? I know this is a touchy subject. Let me be a bucket of cold water for a moment. According to scholarshipstats.com, only 7% of high school varsity athletes went on to play varsity in college. Additionally, less than 2% of high school varsity athletes played varsity in an NCAA Division I school. So, I’m suggesting that, although rewarding, sports are unlikely to be a child’s profession. Counting on a scholarship? Homeschoolers have access to club sports, and your school district may allow your child to play on the school team. Also, don’t forget about academic scholarship options as a possibility. I would not recommend forfeiting homeschool for what will most likely be your grown child’s fond memories or, at best, hobby.

8. “What about socialization?”

Ugh! This one soooo gets under my skin. Homeschool moms, am I alone on this? Are people imagining me in my home with the curtains drawn, and the kids hidden away in our basement? Are there weird homeschoolers? Of course! But, and I know this might be a shocker to some, there are also weird public schoolers. Generally, homeschoolers have opportunities to learn how to interact with people of all ages. I’m not convinced that keeping children separated into age groups is somehow inherently better than allowing children to mix in more varied company. Suffice it to say, homeschoolers are doing just fine in this area.

9. “The homeschool materials are too expensive.”

They don’t have to be. You can create your own curriculum based on state or national standards. You can find FREE curriculum online and use the library. Homeschoolers also buy used materials from each other or even borrow things. Curriculum can get very expensive, but with creativity and a little extra work, you can make it very affordable.

10. “I can’t afford to homeschool.”

Wait…Didn’t I say that’s a valid reason not to homeschool? Well, it is a reason, but sometimes it’s an excuse. Homeschooling, if you are convicted that it is the best option for your children, can be possible when you have money challenges. Parents have made incredible life changes to take control of their children’s education. Make a budget and determine how much money you absolutely need. If it still requires two full-time jobs, you might need to rethink priorities and tackle any debt that you’re carrying. Can you move to a less expensive neighborhood or smaller home? Can you stop eating meals out or start brewing your own coffee? The list of ways to cut your expenses is endless. I’m not suggesting this is easy, but it can be done. Ultimately, you have to decide what you are willing to sacrifice.

11. “I want my kids to be salt and light in the public school.”

No. Just no. Christians, your kids are not strong candidates to be salt and light among their peers at school. I’m speaking generally, but I believe it is true much more often than not. A child is not mature enough in his relationship with Jesus, assuming he is saved, to live a life that looks distinctly different than his peers. A child is still learning how to walk in obedience concerning his parents, let alone walking a Spirit-led life that stands against that which contradicts the Word. Adults struggle with this, and we’re thinking that our nine year olds have the strength for it? A child anomaly, sure, but your typical child just cannot do this. Disciple them properly in their youth, and they will have what it takes to be salt and light when they’re grown.

“I can’t/won’t homeschool. Are you saying I’m a bad parent and that my kids are doomed?”

Not at all. Parents need to examine their own circumstances, and they need to decide what their priorities are on this subject. If homeschool is not your route, though, be prepared to combat those outside forces and influences. Know the curriculum, and reteach and correct the lessons when it’s necessary. Be aware of what is going on in the school. What’s the cultural climate there? What activities are happening at the school? Be very familiar with your child’s friends. And don’t be afraid to set boundaries for your child that seem stricter than those of his peers.

You can count on there being no Christian education at public school, so be sure to take the full brunt of that on yourself. Church will, of course, offer some Biblical instruction, but I implore you not to rely on the church services for training your child up in his faith. That responsibility lies squarely on your shoulders. (Deuteronomy 6:6-7, Proverbs 22:6)

Final Thought

Obviously, families have their own circumstances. If you aren’t convicted, you aren’t. Also, it’s important to remember that plenty of wonderful families with Christian children who are living for the Lord have chosen public school. I am blessed to know several of these families. As for homeschool families, well, there are plenty out there who have children who have fallen away or flat out rejected Christ. Homeschool does not replace the gospel. Those children are in just as much need of salvation as anyone else. The outcome is not up to the parents. We can’t save our children, but my husband and I have decided to pour all we can into our kids in the short time we have.

What will you choose?

Food For Thought

Below I have provided statistics from the Gen2Survey administered by the National Home Educational Research Institute. The data were collected during 2013-2014 from a sample of 9,369 participants. The study compares outcomes among those who were homeschooled, public schooled, Christian schooled, and private schooled (non-religious). I chose to share this because I think most people assume all forms of education are essentially the same. This study suggests otherwise.

Compared to public school, homeschoolers are:

254% as likely to be a believer

209% as likely to be stronger in Christian behavior

284% as likely to be stronger in Christian beliefs

-257% as likely to be sexually abused

Compared to Christian school, homeschoolers are:

223% as likely to be a believer

171% as likely to be stronger in Christian behavior

223% as likely to be stronger in Christian beliefs

-211% as likely to be sexually abused

Compared to private school, homeschoolers are:

621% as likely to be a believer

394% as likely to be stronger in Christian behavior

742% as likely to be stronger in Christian beliefs

n/s* as likely to be sexually abused

*no significant difference

Check It Out!

My Honest And Unfiltered Reasons For Homeschooling

Image courtesy of Ben White via Unsplash.