Ministry Life: Handling Criticism

Men and women enter ministry with such enthusiasm and positivity. I just sit back and smile because what good would I do to dampen their spirits? And after all, there is plenty to be enthusiastic and positive about. Nevertheless, I can’t help but wonder if anyone has prepared them for the onslaught of criticism headed their way. No matter how well we serve others, we will never be immune to the critical eyes of those around us. Handling criticism is not optional; It is essential to successful ministry.

What’s There To Criticize?

If you walk faithfully with the Lord, then you might believe there is really nothing to criticize. That’s a sweet idea, but it isn’t reality. There are two main kinds of criticism we encounter in ministry.

The first kind is legitimate criticism. Critics can make valid points and taking criticism seriously can be a tremendous help in ministry.

The second kind of criticism is not credible or warranted. Sometimes there is some truth in it, but the criticism is rooted in willful attempts to see the worst in someone and a lack of grace and understanding. Of course, there are plenty of times that a critic purposes to be divisive and hurtful.

Legitimate Criticism

1. Sin and/or Disqualifying Behavior

The biblical standards for a pastor are high.

“This is a true saying, if a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.”

1 Timothy 3:1-7

Therefore, if a pastor, or any ministry leader, falls into covetousness, adultery, pridefulness, or has a bad reputation in the community, then that person is open to criticism. Congregants allowing such behavior are not being loving to their leaders or each other when they sweep sin and lowered standards of living under the rug.

2. Neglects The Gospel

“But, Julie, what church would allow leadership to neglect the Good News of Jesus Christ?” As I’ve addressed in the past, a lot of churches will. In my opinion, and it really is just my opinion, a pastor fails his duty if he does not share the gospel each and every Sunday. I don’t see how someone can preach from the Word of God and not arrive at the gospel. The entire Bible is the story of Jesus who, through His sacrifice on the cross and resurrection, saved us. It’s hard to miss the gospel if you teach the Bible.

When a pastor, youth group leader, or children’s church teacher leaves the gospel out, there is reason to criticize.

3. Poor Understanding Of Scripture

Ministry is no joke. We can’t just phone it in and make it up as we go along. Doctrine is essential in any fruitful ministry. That means leaders need to know what they’re talking about. Must they know everything? Well, no. A good teacher admits when he does not know the answer but looks it up and shares it once he finds it.

There’s a shirt I saw once that I really want because it hammers this point home so well. It says, “I can do anything through a verse taken out of context.” When we don’t understand what the Bible is saying, then this is exactly what we do.

Handling criticism is tough, but this is a fair issue with which to confront a ministry worker.

4. Eisegesis Over Exegesis

The conflict between eisegesis and exegesis relates to the previous criticism. If you understand Scripture, then you’ll naturally avoid one of these two methods of interpretation.

Eisegesis is when we interpret the Bible through our own lens. We apply our ideas to the text. On the other hand, exegesis is how we interpret the Bible through critical, objective analysis of the text.

Eisegesis Vs. Exegesis: A Giant Issue

First Samuel 17 is an example of a section of the Bible that is often poorly interpreted. Most people know some version of this account: David and Goliath. Using eisegesis as our interpretive method, we imagine ourselves in place of David. Goliath represents the “giants” in our lives that we can defeat so long as we have the stones (i.e., resources) from God. We have all heard something like, “With God you can slay your Goliath.”

Listen, the sentiment is nice. God can help us overcome seemingly insurmountable circumstances. Personally, I have had victory over drinking, smoking, destructive relationships with men, and depression through the grace of God. But that’s not what 1 Samuel 17 is about.

With exegesis, we ask ourselves about the context, the author, the original audience, and what the text is actually about. Really, we should ask ourselves what it tells us about God instead of what it says about us because the Bible isn’t about you or me. It’s about Him.

So, in this case, we might study 1 Samuel 17 and discover that it is about God. We see David with complete faith in the Lord to defeat this foe. Meanwhile, Israel cowered in fear (being much more like us than David is, I say…). God responded to the threat by sending someone forward to save His people. Hmmm. This sounds familiar. Is David foreshadowing the Savior? Well, he isn’t foreshadowing you or me slaying the giant of vanity weight gain, that’s for sure.

If your pastor or other leaders often look at the Word with eisegesis as their approach, then you absolutely need to take them aside with concerns.

5. Bullying

Ministry leaders who bully the congregation have no right to be in ministry. Do we really need to talk about that further? Where’s the grace, love, and compassion that Christians ought to display?

If a leader does not repent of this behavior, don’t stop at criticism. Kick him to the curb.

6. Being Unteachable

Some folks just have an unteachable spirit. I imagine it relates to pride because these individuals can’t seem to be taught anything. They are right all the time. It is a spiritually immature stance to take, and someone should call it out when leadership displays this kind of behavior.

Questionable Criticism

Criticism is not wrong or sinful when it is necessary. However, a great deal of criticism that ministry leaders receive is illegitimate. Or weird. If you’d like a laugh, check out this list of criticisms to pastors that Thom S. Rainer compiled. Sadly, the list is 100% real, though, it sounds like satire.

1. Personality Issues

Many criticisms revolve around who the ministry leader is on a personal level. He is too loud, too funny, not funny enough, too intellectual, boring, etc. It must gut a pastor to speak with people after a preaching service only to hear that his message was not passionate enough or overhear complaints about his failed joke during announcements. These are hardly make or break issues, Church.

2. Changing The Church

“But we’ve always done it this way.” Let me just tell you that as a pastor’s wife, those words make my blood run cold. Change in churches seems to scare hordes of congregants.

It doesn’t matter if we’re discussing a new paint color in the bathroom or starting up a new ministry. Either way, there will always be people who hate it because it’s different. Once, I saw this reaction to new food at a potluck dinner, and I knew that church was in trouble. Guess what. I was right.

3. How The Minister Spends Personal Money

Those of us in ministry are accustomed to some side-eye when we spend our money on anything “frivolous.” Not long ago, I saw a minister’s wife share some pictures from Disney World. She added a caveat about how long they had to save in order to go. Now, Disney is no budget vacation, but I wondered if she felt compelled to justify the expense because she worried her church would have an unwarranted negative reaction. I know I have felt that way. But why?

When the church pays your salary, then some church members believe they have a right to an opinion on how you spend that money. I’ll agree that a pastor who recklessly puts his family into debt is looking for a little criticism due to the lack of wisdom. But a pastor should be a steward of his own money. He doesn’t need Aunt Agnes, the church matriarch, who grew up in the Great Depression to shame him for buying a larger vehicle or taking his family on a much-needed vacation.

4. Leading…

A leader makes decisions. He tries things, assigns things, and expects those he leads will follow. Some churchgoers are simply hesitant to follow a leader because of change concerns. Others, however, don’t want to follow because they, themselves, expect to lead.

These people are usually bullies, and they create factions and divisions in churches. My husband pastored a church that we learned did not want a pastor. They wanted a man to preach Sunday morning, collect his check, and keep everything else the same. No one said this, but it became clear as my husband stepped up to lead and consistently met with opposition. The saddest part was that most of the church wanted leadership, but a handful spoiled it for everyone.

5. Disagreeing With The Bible

Not everyone in the pews is a believer. Not everyone in the pews hates their sin. So, ministry leaders will deal with criticism about strong, accurate, biblical teaching. No one wants to hear their own sin called out, but some people don’t feel convicted of their sin. Instead, they want the ministry leaders to renounce their teaching.

6. Not Meeting Unspoken Expectations

We all have expectations, but we need to voice those if we are to expect others to meet them. Common criticisms in churches frequently revolve around unmet unspoken expectations. Maybe the pastor didn’t visit a member’s third cousin’s daughter in the hospital over an hour away. Why didn’t he? Well, he didn’t know she existed because no one told him. Of course, it could be more reasonable than that. For instance, sometimes people need to feel acknowledged or thanked for their work, but they were left unnoticed with hurt feelings. This might not feel good, but an unvoiced need that was never met is not a reason to criticize.

Handling Criticism: Some Tips

1. It happens to everyone.

Expect it. Prepare for it. Know it is a universal experience in ministry.

2. You can’t make everyone happy.

Your aim is to please the Lord (Galatians 1:10; Colossians 3:23; 1 Thessalonians 2:4). No person can meet every expectation and preference in a church. It is not possible. Stop trying. Be faithful to God by teaching His Word, discipling, and sharing the gospel.

3. Sometimes it’s about them…not you.

People carry emotional baggage and are walking through difficult times. That can spill over onto you. It’s not fun, but it’s a human experience. Give grace.

4. Listen.

Is there anything to that criticism? Handling criticism does not always mean disregarding it. There might be some good points you can benefit from taking seriously.

5. Be thankful for persecution for His sake.

“And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.”

Matthew 10:22

“Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.”

2 Timothy 3:12

If criticism comes because you are faithful to Jesus, then count it all joy. The Lord promises persecution for your faithfulness. Praise God in it.

6. Don’t be pushed around.

It is unwise to get defensive and argumentative, but don’t be a doormat either. You aren’t a punching bag because you are in ministry. Be bold and strong in who you are and what you believe. Always stand on God’s Word.

7. Don’t sever relationships.

Handling criticism is not cutting off communication with critics. Hear what they say and do what you believe is best with the information. After that, move on. Someone’s critical remarks are not the defining attribute of your relationship with them. You don’t need to burn any bridges in response.

8. Surround yourself with godly people.

We all need people we can trust in our lives. Keep spiritually mature and honest people in your inner circle. Handling criticism is so much easier when you aren’t alone. Seek advice and counsel from a godly friend as you discern the legitimacy of the criticisms you receive.

Final Thought

Most of us think we are good at handling criticism, but experience tells me that isn’t so. Sure, some of us can let a lot of it slide off our backs, but ministry can be a barrage of criticism. Some helpful, some benign, and some very hurtful. I suggest two courses of action to help all Christians in this area.

First, keep your eyes on Jesus and give Him the hurt. We can only find true joy and comfort in Him, and we don’t need to carry the burdens of unfair criticism alone.

Second, refrain from criticizing others. Be the example to your church. Ministry leaders should lead in all areas, including how we speak about and to others. Don’t let church members hear you gossiping and criticizing others. If criticism is necessary, take it to the individual with compassion and grace.

Have you received hurtful or unnecessary criticism? How did you handle it?

Image courtesy of Adi Goldstein via Unsplash.