Ministry Life: Burnout

Working alongside my husband in various ministries has had its share of ups and downs. Volunteering in church, living and working at a boys home, going through seminary, bi-vocational ministry, and full-time pastoral work have all had one thing in common. A constant threat of burnout.

Crunching The Numbers

Research on ministry burnout varies a little from source to source, but the numbers are similar across the board. One source states that burnout is the number one reason pastors leave (flee?) the pulpit. A Lifeway study reports that 10% of pastors who leave their position before retirement attribute the move to burnout. Another source claims 19% of non-retiring pastors who leave ministry do so because of burnout. The other reasons were as follows: change in calling (40%), church conflict (25%), personal finances (12%), and family issues (12%). I suspect those reasons all contribute to or stem from burnout, even if we don’t call it that.

No matter how we look at it, burnout is a real problem in ministry. So, we need to know its signs and symptoms.

What Does Burnout Look Like?

1. Insomnia

Still staring at the ceiling at three in the morning and counting how many more hours until you have to get up for the day? We’ve all been there, but ministry burnout could be the culprit if insomnia has become the norm.

With so much on your mind, though, who can expect you to sleep well?

2. Sleeping Too Much

Some people, like myself, don’t struggle with not sleeping enough. Quite the contrary! We sleep a lot. A whole lot!

When my body and mind are overburdened with thought, activity, and “people stuff,” then I sort of shut down. I can’t get up in the morning, and I am ready to nap a couple hours after starting the day.

I’m a sleep enthusiast, but even I have to admit we can have too much of a good thing. Burnout can knock you out, making your waking hours minimal and inefficient.

3. No Motivation

A ministry leader experiencing burnout may lose motivation to do ministry activities. Sure, he or she keeps trudging on, but it’s only trudging on. The heart behind it is missing, and the attitude is more about getting it done than truly serving others in the Lord’s name.

Again, everyone goes through low periods, but burnout will often make this season of life more of a constant in a minister’s life.

4. Fatigue

Being burnt out can decimate your energy level no matter how much sleep you get. Feeling overworked with high levels of stress simply can’t allow your body and mind to rest. It’s exhausting.

5. Emotional Stagnation

Do you know that feeling after an amazing day when you feel like you’re on top of the world? No? How about those days when everything goes wrong and your heart breaks with disappointment? Not ringing a bell?

Ministry burnout can numb our feelings. We miss out on the highs and lows of life. I admit, never feeling sad sounds wonderful, but it’s actually not really fully living without all the feelings… The human experience is filled with both the good and the bad. How can we “rejoice with those who rejoice, [and] weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15) when we can’t feel joy or grief?

6. Poor Focus

This symptom of burnout looks like someone who is unable to stick to any ministry tasks, bouncing from one thing to another. She needs more time than usual to complete tasks because her mind is elsewhere. Her heart may be, too.

7. Looking For An Exit

If burnout gets out of control or prolonged, this ministry worker might be looking for any opportunity to leave. We see this with pastors who flee their churches and ministry workers who suddenly quit or stop regularly attending church.

Any chance to leaving looks like a fantastic opportunity when the burnout becomes too much.

The Causes Of Burnout

1. Self-Reliance

“I’ve got it.” “No, I’ll finish this. You go home.” “I don’t need any help. Thanks, though.”

It’s OK to be capable, strong, and independent. In fact, I encourage these things, but we don’t have to do it all by ourselves. So many men and women in ministry carry all the burdens on their shoulders while rejecting help. That’s not a weight meant for one.

2. Unreasonable Expectations

Those of us serving in ministry tend to get hit with incredibly high expectations. The people around us want all of their needs to be met and can hold us responsible for that. Sometimes, if church members disagree with us, then it is seen as a failing on our part. This can be true, but usually the disagreement is over something insignificant like women wearing pants or what time Sunday School should start.

I’ll be the bearer of bad news on this one. We will never please everyone. We can’t. Accept it. That leads me to another set of expectations, though. Our own!

We think we can do everything, and we can do it well. Inevitably, we will fall short of these personal expectations, and it hurts. We believe that we are letting everyone down including ourselves. Our ministries don’t always take off like we hope, and the outcomes don’t always look successful on paper.

We will always fail to meet our own expectations when we deny our own limitations and ignore God’s leading and His will.

3. Unresolved Conflicts

Not everyone gets along all the time, and ministry is no different. In fact, people’s passion for Jesus can sometimes make conflict more likely and more intense.

I hate conflict. I don’t want to deal with it. Growing up, I had no example for proper conflict resolution, and now I would rather ignore it and move on. However, that approach is so unhealthy and destructive to relationships that I know I have to do better. Unresolved conflict creates a tension-filled environment where every interaction is a potential landmine.

Burnout should be no surprise after an extended period of constantly being on the brink of another conflict.

4. Being On-Call 24/7

Ministry workers, especially those in leadership, struggle with maintaining a healthy balance and keeping boundaries in their lives. We want to be available, and ministry is not limited to regular working hours. Oh, but never taking time away from ministry duties slowly chips away at us.

If you want to burn out fast, be on-call all the time.

5. No Life Outside Of The Church

Church activities can take a lot of time in our week, and we end up having a life that revolves solely around the people and events in our church. My closest friends are in my church. I trust them, and I rely on them for support and encouragement. But ministry workers (leaders and their families, especially) need a life outside of the church walls.

Having a hobby instantly creates a little balance in our lives. For example, my husband enjoys powerlifting. Without a hobby, he drifts in and out of work all day. That level of work is unsustainable and puts him at serious risk for burnout.

6. Resistant Congregation

This one is usually out of the ministry leaders’ hands. Some congregations don’t want change. None. New paint color, new ministry, a new song, or even new members can be rejected by a resistant church body.

When every day and every decision is a fight, we can’t be surprised to see burnout in ministry workers.

7. Failure To Plan And Organize

No matter the ministry, planning and organization are a must. We all know people who wait until the last minute to do things, and they fly by the seat of their pants. Though that drives me bonkers, I understand that it works for some people. But not for everyone.

Ministries involve other people, and we have to consider their needs. A ministry that constantly feels like it is in a state of chaos (and like everything is an emergency) will predictably operate with conflict, pressure, confusion, and ultimately, burnout.

8. Isolation

Isolation is a very real risk for ministry leadership, especially pastors and their families. The pastor is in a position that many Christians view as “super spiritual.” That perception often includes his family. This “super special spiritual position” creates separation between the church body and the pastor. No one draws close to him, and he feels like he is not a part of his church family.

Ministry workers also isolate themselves, making the burdens of ministry more severe, by not accepting help, refusing to delegate, competing with other churches (rather than collaborating), and feeling unable or being unwilling to trust members of their church.

9. The Only Time Spent In The Word Is For Ministry Purposes

Preparing for sermons, Bible studies, classes, etc. can be time-consuming, but the preparation for those ministries shouldn’t stand in for our personal time with the Lord. We burn out when we forsake our private time with God to minister to others.

How To Avoid Burnout

Ministry is one potential trigger for burnout after another, but burnout is avoidable if we protect ourselves and think ahead.

1. Remember Your Relationship With Christ

We need to spiritually grow if we are to lead, and we can never lead and minister well without the strength and energy that can only be found in a healthy relationship with Jesus.

Pray and study the Bible for your needs and your personal walk with Him.

2. Collaborate With Like-Minded Leaders

I’m about as far from ecumenical as a girl can be, but there are plenty of like-minded people to collaborate with in ministry. Share the load with other believers and expand your reach into the community.

3. Learn To Say “No”

Saying “no” means disappointing somebody, but it also might save you a lot of trouble down the line. Despite our valiant attempts, we can’t do it all. Prioritize and accept the limitations in which you live. Then, decide if the answer is “yes,” “no,” or “not now.”

4. Ask For Help

Delegate some of the work that you do and ask for help. This is not weakness. Strong leaders know when they need assistance. Don’t stop other people from using their gifts to minister because you feel like you should be doing it all alone.

5. Have References Available

Because we can’t do everything, we should have people we can refer others to when we cannot help. For example, it helps to have someone with specific experiences or expertise in areas we may not be as strong in. So, we might have someone who has endured the heartbreak of miscarriage or gone through divorce available to us when someone needs encouragement in that area.

You don’t have to be an expert at everything.

6. Take Care Of Your Body

No one needs to hear this more than me. Eat healthy food. Drink water. Exercise. Limit sugar and fried foods. Avoid alcohol and smoking. I know, welcome back to third grade health class.

I have noticed a pattern in ministry leadership. It might be because I’m from the Midwest, but ministry leaders appear to lean towards being overweight. There are probably many factors at play, but the stress of ministry can certainly trigger unhealthy eating. Plus, exercise is difficult to prioritize under the best of circumstances. How much harder is it to find time for it when we are overwhelmed with ministry duties, stressed out, and filled with garbage food?

A healthy body really does help us think clearly and stave off burnout.

7. Have Focus

Know what you want to accomplish with your ministry, and work toward achieving those goals. Stay focused and don’t be distracted by side projects. If we work on our ministry goals one step at a time with a purpose in mind, then we can maintain order and predictability (to some extent) as we serve. Burnout avoided.

8. Leave Margin In Your Schedule

Leaving margin just means you don’t fill up your entire page. Know what I mean? Give yourself breathing room throughout the day. Don’t fill every minute with tasks because as soon as anything slows down your progress, BOOM! The whole day falls apart.

Without margin, each day feels like a failure because we can’t finish our to-do list. Plus, we only end up having to add today’s unfinished business to tomorrow’s schedule. Do yourself a favor and leave some empty space in your planner every day.

9. Make Your Home A Refuge

We all need a place to relax and shed the stresses of the day. Now, my sweet husband has to come home to me and five kids, so it’s not exactly a day spa experience. On the other hand, I think he likes coming home and feels comfortable and supported here.

The key to making our homes a refuge from the stresses, hurts, and challenges of ministry life is having a healthy home. Coming home to people with whom we have good relationships makes all the difference. Support one another. Love one another. And make sure home is a safe place to be vulnerable and honest.

We’ll burn out if we don’t have a place to recharge and be encouraged.

10. Take Real Time Off

Walk away from ministry work and have a real vacation. I don’t mean you have to go to Hawaii or Europe to have a vacation, though. This can happen in your home. Don’t underestimate the budget-friendly staycation.

On the other hand, if being home makes taking time completely off from ministry too difficult, then find somewhere else to be.

It can be hard to leave church duties behind because “what if they need me?!” Trust the people you have left in charge and focus on your family and yourself. Remember that you are not able to minister well if you are running on empty.

So, nap for a week. Go to the beach. Learn to sew. Take a camping trip (or better yet, rent a cabin). Enjoy your free time, and come back to your ministry renewed and ready to tackle whatever comes next.

Final Thought

Burnout threatens everyone who lives the ministry life. There’s no getting around it. We don’t have to succumb to the threat, though. If I could sum up everything I’ve said in one statement I would say, “Be realistic.”

We have limits to what we can do, but we can also make the most of the opportunities God gives us in ministry by practicing simple self-care, having boundaries, and setting reasonable priorities. When we fail to do these things, we don’t just hurt ourselves. We hurt our ministry and those we serve, as well.

Am I missing anything? Let me know!

Image courtesy of nrd via Unsplash.