Christians Aren’t Better Than Me (Defending Christianity)

Challenges to Christianity are nothing new, and the criticisms don’t seem to change. However, too many believers get caught off guard when a skeptic calls out their beliefs. In the worst-case scenarios, some believers are swayed by faulty arguments because they don’t how to defend their own faith, and we see many of them end up entangled with deconstruction and leaving church. The arguments from critics often devolve into personal attacks which question a believer’s character. For instance, they say Christians are hypocrites, need a crutch to get through life, and are intolerant. Today, let’s look at a fourth attack on believers. Christians aren’t better than everyone else even though they pretend to be.

Celebrity Christians Aren’t Better…And We Know It

When critics come at us with examples of alleged Christians who act badly and demonstrate just how sinful believers can be, they go straight for the worst offenders. More often than not, we have to fend off examples of creepy and/or perverted spiritual leaders and celebrity pastors who have displayed little to no character. They’re not representative of most Christians, but they are the ones we see in the news and with whom we are most familiar. Below are some of the Christians critics think of when they think of Christianity.

These Christians Aren’t “Better” Than Me: Pastors

Carl Lentz – He was the pastor at Hillsong NYC and fired in 2020 for having an affair. Well, he seems to have had many affairs.

Robert Morris – This pastor resigned in 2024 from Gateway Church in Texas after being accused of sexually assaulting a twelve-year-old.

Tony Evans – He stepped down from his pastoral position at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in 2024 due to an undisclosed sin. After undergoing a “restoration process” for twelve months, he stepped back into the pulpit.

Mike Bickle – He founded and led the International House of Prayer in Kansas City (IHOPKC). In late 2023/early 2024, the world discovered he had sexually abused at least seventeen females.

Mark Driscoll – Driscoll resigned from Mars Hill Church in Seattle in 2014. Members from his church accused him of bullying, retaliating against dissenters, publicly shunning people, using more than $200,000 of the church’s money to inflate the sales of his book Real Marriage, and being a misogynist. There’s more. So much more. Yet, he’s making a comeback in the Far-Right movement.

These Christians Aren’t “Better” Than Me: Teachers

Ravi Zacharias – Although not a pastor, Zacharias was a well-known Christian apologist who, allegedly, sexually harassed and abused many women over his time in ministry. This all came to light, conveniently for him, after his death.

Steve Lawson – Lawson was a respected and famous Bible teacher from Trinity Bible Church in Texas. He was removed from fellowship in his church after a long-standing extramarital affair had been exposed. He was slow to take ownership, and his repentance and consequences have been mostly private.

These Christians Aren’t “Better” Than Me: Famous

The Duggars – Christian reality television stars, the Duggars, have always lived under a watchful eye of suspicion, but a collective, “I knew it!” was heard round the world when eldest son, Josh Duggar fell from grace. As it turns out, he molested several girls when he was a teenager. Reports conflict, but many claim he assaulted four of his sisters and a babysitter. In 2015, a security breach at Ashley Madison, a website for married people to find affair partners, revealed he was a member of the adulterous site. Afterwards, in the same year, an adult movie actress accused Josh Duggar of assault. Finally, in 2021, U.S. Marshals arrested him for receiving and possessing materials on his work computer that depicted sexual abuse of minors under twelve years of age. He’s currently serving time in prison.

And just this week, another Duggar man has sinned himself into a jail cell. One of Josh’s brothers, Joseph Duggar, has been arrested for molesting a nine-year-old girl while he was on vacation several years ago.

The Fallout From Fallen Celebrity Christians

What can we say in response to someone when they look at the men I just discussed, and they rightly point out “Those Christians aren’t better than me!”? In fact, in some cases, these men are some of the worst examples of humans I can conjure up in my mind. Our response should be humility and acknowledgement. The reality is that there are publicly known believers who shame the name of Jesus.

“All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (emphasis mine)

2 Corinthians 5:18-20

We have been entrusted with the gospel. The lives we lead and the words we speak represent the Kingdom of God. We represent Jesus to those who don’t know Him. So, it isn’t difficult to see why the very public failures of celebrity Christians can hurt our message of salvation and the testimonies we share of how the Lord changes us.

Imagine that you don’t believe in God. Now, picture how you might view all Christians as a result of the well-documented actions of the men above. Would Jesus seem like Someone you need in your life? These men claim Christ, but they are criminals, terrible husbands, liars, and manipulators. “What has Jesus done for them?” you might ask.

That is a great question, and it’s a fair one. However, we need to have more to say in response than a grunt and a shrug followed by, “Yeah, it’s crazy…”

You’re Right: Christians Aren’t Better Than You

Thankfully, most Christians we encounter who fall short of faithful and obedient Christian living haven’t sunk to the depths of depravity we’ve just waded through. There are plenty of us, though, who have left a bad enough impression on an unbeliever that they have used us as an example against the transforming power of salvation through Christ. If you don’t think that’s possible, then I challenge you to think of your worst day. If we’re honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we can be the terrible example that creates a prejudice against Christians as a whole.

Whether the critic is disgusted by a Christian sex offender or by a pastor’s wife with a sharp tongue, we can respond thoughtfully and biblically to her criticism.

1. Christians Really Aren’t Better

The idea that believers are somehow better than other people is a common misnomer. Unfortunately, I think some church folks are perpetuating this lie. Friends, we aren’t better. We are wretched sinners in need of a Savior. Better off? Yes. Better than? No.

Before Salvation

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,” (emphasis mine)

Romans 3:23-24

“As it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one;” (emphasis mine)

Romans 3:10

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Romans 5:8

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (emphasis mine)

Ephesians 2:8-9

The verses above make it apparent that we are all in the same boat. Christians weren’t better people to be saved, and they didn’t do anything to earn God’s grace. It’s all God. The accusation unbelievers hurl at us, though, isn’t that we used to be no better. Rather, they seem to think we believe we are better than them because we’re Christians. The Bible doesn’t support that idea, though.  

After Salvation

First, I need to clarify that we are not supposed to sin. As followers of Christ, our desire ought to be to live in obedience to the Lord. As a new creation in Christ, our appetites will change and move away from lives of sin (2 Corinthians 5:17).

“What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means!”

Romans 6:15

We’re saved, but as Paul says in Romans, it isn’t an excuse to sin. Yet, we aren’t perfect, and we do sin.

“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.”

1 John 1:8-10

John isn’t excusing sin in these verses, but he’s also not ignoring the very real presence of sin in a believer’s life. It’s so certain that we will sin that he warns us against claiming we don’t. Thankfully, we can confess to the Lord and He will forgive us, and we should want to do this. Our nature as born-again Christians is to be grieved by our sin, not be enslaved to it.

“We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.”

Romans 6:6

Romans 6 refers to those who have been saved. So, those who have not come to faith in Christ are, in fact, slaves to their sin. Freedom from sin is only possible in salvation through Jesus Christ.

Are you seeing the difference between better off and better than? Christians are saved and no longer in bondage to sin. We are God’s children and co-heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17). Those who reject Jesus, however, will face judgment (John 12:48) and be found lacking without the Advocate, Jesus. The consequences of which will be terrible and eternal.

“And if anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.”

Revelation 20:15

We’re better off. Christians aren’t better than those who don’t believe, but we do have hope in Christ. The good news is that anyone can.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.”

John 3:16-18

2. Not All Christians Are Christians

A lot of people call themselves Christians who are not biblically Christians at all. Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Catholics are just a few examples. Of course, then there are individuals who think they are saved, but are relying on head knowledge, tradition, works, etc. for their salvation. And I know this sounds like I’m being judgy and exclusionary, but the Bible says, in no uncertain terms, that there will be many people who will think they are going to be with the Lord but won’t.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’”

Matthew 7:21-23

Earlier in Matthew 7, Jesus warns that there will be far more who do not enter the Kingdom than those who do. With that in mind, we must acknowledge that not everyone who says they believe in God is truly a Christian.

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”

Matthew 7:13-14

How can we know who is actually saved if there can be false professions? Well, we can’t know because we can never really know what the relationship is between the Lord and another person. We’d have to be God to know that. On the other hand, we have clues in the fruit we see in someone’s life.

“So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, you will recognize them by their fruits.”

Matthew 7:17-20

The primary focus in these verses is false teachers, but we can easily apply the lesson to anyone claiming Jesus as her Savior. Essentially, does her life display Christlikeness or not? When somebody criticizes Christianity because of bad behavior among Christians, you should point out that not everyone who claims Christ is born again. Moreover, we can look at their lives and get an idea of what kind of people they are by the fruit they display. It is entirely possible that those fallen leaders and venomous church ladies are false converts who still need salvation.

Of course, they could still be maturing…

3. Sanctification Is A Process

Over the years, I have received side-eye from some well-meaning Christians when they discover I’m a ministry wife. I’m too loud, too straight-forward, too decided in my opinions, too casual in my attire, too knowledgeable about the culture, and my complete lack of Awana badges is distressing. For others, of course, I’m just me and they’re cool with it. Those who are concerned about me, though, are missing a huge part of the picture. Julie in April 2009 (1 month before I got saved) couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as Today Julie. I’ve changed quite a bit, but those changes happened over time. They’re still happening!

Some things radically changed right away. Within days I no longer smoked or drank alcohol. Full stop. I quickly bought some new clothing that was less scandalous, and I cleared out anything pagan. The biggest change was my relationship with Jesus. I had one! I was reading my Bible, attending church services, and being mentored by various ladies in my new church. Slowly, I began to understand more about God, and with that knowledge I grew and matured in the Lord (John 17:17-19). This process, sanctification, doesn’t end while we’re on Earth (Hebrews 10:14). We’re always maturing.

Growing Closer To God

Sanctification has three phases. First, we are justified, meaning we are declared righteous. Through salvation, we’ve been made holy. That is, we are set apart for His purposes. Second, we undergo a continuous maturing process while we are alive in this world. The sanctification we experience after salvation is a slow process of growing in Christlikeness. No two people will grow at the exact same rate and in the same way, but all Christians are growing. Third, we’ll be glorified. We will finally be completely separated from sin.

Unbelievers hold us to a high standard, and we will fall short now and again. We can explain our fallen nature and sanctification to our unbelieving friends, but we can also put in the time and energy to help our brothers and sisters in Christ by mentoring them and walking beside them as they learn and apply God’s truths in their lives. Helping each other grow in our walk will ultimately help us fail less and grow faster. The godly example we become is the best way to combat critics.

4. The World’s Standards Aren’t Ours

When faced with criticism, we should take it seriously. The observation may be exactly what we need to hear, and perhaps we need to make some changes. Then again, sometimes people judge Christians too harshly and against the world’s standards. They may be yelling at the top of their lungs that Christians aren’t better than them as they perceive Christian self-righteousness. Meanwhile, they could just be responding to biblical Christianity.

For example, I believe that LGBTQ+ agendas hurt women. Engaging in those lifestyles is sinful, and some of the related cultural shifts have taken opportunities away from women and even compromised their safety. By the world’s standards, I’m a homophobe/transphobe who doesn’t care about people who identify as LGBTQ+. Apparently, I’m a bigot, and I think I’m better than this particular community of people. Except that’s not true. I care deeply for these individuals who have been lied to and keep getting pulled farther away from God. I mean, they’re literally leaving behind the definitions of men and women as God created them (Genesis 1:27) for the lies of our current age.

We could come up with any number of additional biblical teachings that skeptics would throw back at us as a reason for why we think we’re better than them. Ultimately, if we don’t celebrate whatever sin they’re living in, they say we are judging and looking down at them. Don’t be pulled into that argument. The standards God has set for us are not the same set of standards the world lives by.

“but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.”

1 Thessalonians 2:4

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

Galatians 1:10

“But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.”

Acts 5:29

God’s Word is filled with hard truths that the world rejects, but it isn’t our job to make Christianity more palatable to them. Even when given with kindness and love, some biblical truths are difficult to accept.

Final Thought

Critics don’t have much to say against biblical Christianity. They don’t like it and find it offensive, but there isn’t much they can intelligently argue against. Do you know how I know that? Because their arguments devolve into personal attacks rather than a conversation about the God of the Universe. Sadly, the criticism, though difficult to hear, can be legitimate. When it is, own up to it. On the other hand, don’t ignore all the facts. Not everyone who claims Christ knows Him, sanctification is a lifelong process in which we will take many missteps, and the world frequently measures us against their unbiblical standards. No, Christians aren’t better than the lost, but we have a real hope in Christ. Don’t be thrown when someone confronts you about yet another fallen celebrity Christian. Defend your faith. Share the gospel. Even in these times, our eyes must stay on Jesus.

Have you needed to explain why Christians can be saved and remain flawed? What did you say?

Image courtesy of Geronimo Giqueaux via Unsplash.