Christian Mothers And The Season Of Waiting

Christian mothers commonly encounter what I refer to as the season of waiting. It starts when a woman is pregnant, and she must begin backing away from some activities and foods she previously enjoyed. Everyone promises her it won’t be forever. She just has to wait… Christian mothers, or any mothers, don’t have the monopoly on seasons of waiting, but there’s something that sets mothers apart in this arena. Namely, it seems like we aren’t really supposed to talk about it. Wouldn’t that make us sound ungrateful or make us bad mothers and Christians?

Well, as someone who has been in the season of waiting for years, I’d like to talk about it. And I think I’m not the only one.

Defining The Season Of Waiting

I want to make sure we are all on the same page. So, allow me to clarify what I mean by a Christian mother’s season of waiting. It is when a woman wants to do something or feels called to do something, but her circumstances as a mother require her to wait and put aside those particular desires.

These postponed desires don’t have to be deep, meaningful things. Being a mother can require sitting out of everyday activities and, yes, some important ones, too. For instance, I have missed out on rollercoasters, water rides, white water rafting, and ziplining because I was pregnant or had to stay back with a baby.

I have also found that learning a new skill is shockingly difficult with children. I have a sewing machine and the accessories at home. These items have been in my possession for over seven years, yet I cannot sew a thing. Not even a little. I’d love to learn, but I’m waiting for a time when I’m not so busy with my necessary household/mom duties.

Ministry can feel like a waiting game, as well, for Christian mothers. Ladies, we enter marriage so excited to partner with our husbands in ministry, right? It’s exciting to figure out how we will serve the Lord and the local church as a couple, and then babies come along and sometimes change everything. Attending a Bible study can seem nearly impossible, let alone leading one. And how is a mom with three children all three years old and younger supposed to open her home to minister through hospitality? Hopefully, her guests like SpaghettiOs.

The Season Of Waiting Or The Season Of Zero Fun?

I’m making motherhood sound terrible, but stick with me because that’s not at all what I am saying. Being a mom is one of the best things to ever happen to me. However, it has meant that my expectations about what I can accomplish and my priorities have had to change.

As I’ve missed out on some things, I’ve also experienced blessings that only motherhood could have offered me. It’s not that the season of waiting leads to zero fun and no hobbies or ministries. Rather, it necessitates choices and careful consideration about what we put on our plates.

Is the season of waiting a universal experience for Christian mothers? I’m not sure. I know plenty of moms who seem to be doing all the things. On the other hand, even those moms have occasionally shared that they feel like they can’t do everything they thought they would do.

In a nutshell, the season of waiting often makes women feel like they aren’t doing enough.

My Season Of Waiting

I feel like I’m currently emerging from my season of waiting. My oldest is twelve, and my youngest is five. I’m not done waiting. Oh, no. But more doors are opening for me now that my children are becoming increasingly independent, and the diapers are gone. It has been a lot of waiting, though.

I had a baby right before our first wedding anniversary, and my morning sickness sidelined me right away. Four more children followed at a rapid pace. They were born anywhere between 18 to 23 months after the previous baby had been born. I spent years (and years) in the nursery. Apparently, fertility is the same thing as a spiritual gift for working in the nursery. At least, that’s how people treated me.

Side Note: Don’t require mothers to work in the nursery. Most moms will voluntarily do it, anyway. For those mothers who need the break or are not good with other people’s children, this can make church a very discouraging place. Additionally, don’t ever tell a mother her child cannot use the nursery unless she works in the nursery. What other ministry requires people to volunteer in order to receive the blessings of the ministry? Besides, do you really want a nursery worker who doesn’t want to be there interacting with children? No, you don’t. (stepping off my soapbox)

Dreams, Deferred

I spent countless hours alone in church nurseries or off in a corner nursing my babies, and I thought about everything I wasn’t doing. I would excitedly listen as a new ministry was announced and wonder if I could volunteer. As I worked the logistics out in my head, I often landed squarely on “no.” Not yet.

I saw other people in church having opportunities to find their gifts and use them for God. When could I? I thought about leading Bible studies, speaking, planning events, and writing. It’s not that I thought I was already good at those things, but I felt a desire for those things placed on my heart at the time. Meanwhile, I had children at home who needed me, a husband pursuing ministry as a vocation, and a home to care for which all superseded any daydreams I had.

My Season Of Waiting In The Everyday Things

As I previously mentioned, I wanted to learn to sew, but I also wished I could play piano. I had always wanted to learn but had no opportunity when I was growing up. “Not yet, “I told myself.

Growing up with fast food and convenience foods from boxes and cans, my palette has never been all that refined. I had been one of those annoying girls whose metabolism could keep up with an entire frozen pizza and a box of macaroni and cheese without breaking a sweat. Unfortunately, times were a-changin’ for me, and I wanted to exercise and focus on my health. But when?! “Not yet.”

Even family get-togethers felt like a waiting game. I would constantly have to leave conversations, games, and meals so I could nurse a baby or change a diaper. A cry would erupt from another room, and I had to handle it. My conversations with family and friends were defined by my roaming eyes as I watched my kids behind the person with whom I was speaking. I never felt present at these times, but I knew one day I would be able to fully engage again. Just not yet.

Is This It For Me?

I didn’t always feel like I was waiting. It’s not like I was walking around in misery feeling despondent over my lot in life. In fact, a lot of the time I didn’t mind waiting. I knew my day to ride rollercoasters and have time to learn new skills would come. However, I did move in and out of feeling like I was waiting to do something important for God. I wondered if this was all He wanted from me.

I struggled to be content and thankful for the responsibilities God had already given me. Wasn’t I capable of more? God must want more from me!

Rethinking The Season Of Waiting

Putting my drama aside, I could see the situation more clearly. Somewhere along the line while I was being a mom, homeschooling, volunteering as I was able to at my local church, standing by my husband through seminary and then pastoral work, and trying to maintain a healthy marriage… I realized I had been doing much more than waiting!

Oh, sure. I was waiting for time to free up and my children to be more independent for me to do certain things, but God had in no way sidelined me. He had a plan for me and was using this season of waiting to accomplish His purposes.

What if my skills (the little I had) were being used to minister to my family through the home?

What if the time I was at home, rather than involved in a more visible ministry, was training me for future roles God would give me?

Could it be that God was developing my character through the challenges I faced at home?

As I look back now, I have to concede that I wasn’t ready for much yet. I needed to slow down and grow in Christ. I’ll always be growing in my faith, but this was new Christian growth. Everything was new to me, and I needed to take a learning posture and foster my new relationship with Jesus.

Those early years were spent learning to cook, clean a home, and live on a budget. After the baby entered the picture, I quickly realized I knew nothing about babies. (#onlychild) Not to mention, I was figuring out how to live with my husband. Unsurprisingly, this introverted only child was not a natural. Praise the Lord for a patient husband!

Of course, we can’t forget that all this time I was also studying God’s Word. I came to the cross with nearly no Bible knowledge. So, everything was new to me. My head was swimming with questions after every sermon. I felt like I was playing catch-up. Although I’m still learning, I know so much more than I did, and I’m much more capable of serving in ministry today than when I felt like I was just waiting.

This season of waiting as a Christian mother has been less about waiting and more about growth and a focused ministry to my family. I didn’t always see the benefit of waiting, but I can say, without hesitation, that my season of waiting has been a blessing.

If You Are In A Season Of Waiting

1. Pray

Prayer. It’s always a great place to start. Ask for patience and thank Him for what He has given you. This isn’t a time to take what you have for granted. Prayer will keep your blessings in focus.

2. Look for you circle of influence

If your desire is to reach others for God, then I suggest you look at the people the Lord has put in your life. Your children, husband, siblings, parents, friends, and co-workers are all within your sphere of influence. Don’t neglect them because you had hoped to reach others. Start with them.

Christian mothers, your number one ministry is your family. You have the opportunity to guide and disciple your children, so take advantage of the relationship you have with them. Those children only have one mother, and there are only so many years you have them in your home. So, although you may be waiting for something while in this particular season of life, serve the Lord by training them up in the ways they should go (Proverbs 22:6).

Wives, you are your husband’s helper, and he is better with you.

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

Genesis 2:18

This doesn’t make you his slave, but you are meant to walk through life together as one (Ephesians 5:31).

If ministering to the people in your home isn’t enough, there are plenty of ways to reach out to the others in your circle of influence while in a season of waiting. A few examples include praying for them, sending them letters and cards, bringing someone a meal, having someone over for dinner, meeting for a playdate with another mom, or giving someone a ride to church. Get creative and make it work for you.

3. Grow where you are planted

It is easy to become dissatisfied when we continue to focus on what we could be doing or want to be doing instead of what we actually have in front of us. Commit to working and serving where God has placed you and within the opportunities He has given you.

Your town, church, job, or ministry may not be your preference, but this is the life God has given to you. Be faithful and obedient as you wait, and you might discover that God gave you what you needed rather than what you wanted.

Don’t waste this time you have. Make the most of it, and remember God is in charge. Stop fighting for control.

4. Don’t give up your dreams

Just because you believe God is telling you, “Not yet” doesn’t mean you should give up. The timing may not be right, but it may still be in your future.

As I have begun to inch my way out of the season of waiting, I have been able to accomplish things I thought would never be in reach. I’ve been able to ride thrill rides again (a personal favorite), I’ve had successes (and failures) finding time to care for my physical well-being, my participation in various ministries has increased, and I was able to create and maintain a weekly blog.

Even if I had not been able to do those things, I know God has been molding me into the woman He wants me to be. And as I have relinquished my plans and submitted to Him, He has used this season of waiting to prepare me for the future. Not to mention, He’s changed some of my desires as I’ve grown and followed the Holy Spirit’s promptings.

So, hold loosely to your dreams and be ready to walk through the open doors when (and if) they come along, but you need to be ready to take your life in a different and better direction if it is His will for your life.

Final Thought

Being a Christian mother in a season of waiting can feel stifling, restrictive, and meaningless. We’re bound to feel left out and lonely while we focus so heavily on families and home. So much time being spent on others’ needs leaves us wondering what about ours? Who will meet our needs?

God will meet our needs, and we only need to walk in faith and obedience. Ladies, we should have a heart for our husbands, children, and home. If we linger in bitterness about those things, then we have a sin issue to work on. This season of waiting isn’t a punishment to fight against. No, it is a blessing that helps us grow in the Lord and focus on our primary ministry. This season of life might be a time to remember that to die to self is to live in Jesus. So, let’s die to self.

Have you been through a season of waiting? How did you handle it?

Image courtesy of Eutah Mizushima via Unsplash.