Be Thankful, Even When You’re Not

Thanksgiving is such a great holiday, isn’t it? It’s so low key that it doesn’t even mind Christmas has crept into its space… No one expects gifts or over the top expressions of love for Thanksgiving. We get to slow down, eat, and reflect on a year of God’s blessings. That last part is especially important to me because, otherwise, I’m apt to forget to think about it. But even on a holiday that literally advertises the need to give thanks, I wonder how thankful we really are. Can we be thankful, even when we aren’t?

What Is It To Be Thankful?

We use words like thankful and grateful rather loosely. Everyone knows we should be grateful, so we say we feel that way. However, all too often we express thanks while living like we are not. It’s one thing to say we’re “so thankful” for our jobs but then quite another to live and speak as if we are perpetually dissatisfied with those jobs. Moreover, we talk about our husbands as if we are thankful for them, but do our husbands see that thankfulness? Or do we just criticize, nag, and complain? So, what does it mean to be thankful?

I looked up thankful in several dictionaries and online sources, and the definitions included: well pleased, expressive of thanks, to show appreciation, and conscious of benefit received.

When considering our own thankfulness, we ought to first decide whether or not these definitions describe us. If I’m thankful, then I will be generally well pleased with my life. I will express my thanks and actually show my appreciation for what and who I have. That is to say, my thankfulness won’t be a secret to those around me. Finally, I will acknowledge the blessings in my life.

We all know people who live like this. Aren’t they a joy to be around? Meanwhile, most of us also know people who only appear to notice the things in their lives that they don’t care for, and they miss out on opportunities to take joy and give thanks for what they do have.

It isn’t difficult to criticize thankless people, but we might have more in common with them than we initially think.

How We Tend To Be Thankful

Sometimes it is easy to be thankful. You might have great grades in a class, landed the job you wanted, gave birth to a healthy baby, or discovered the Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew at Starbucks. All these things can make it easy to feel thankful, but what happens when we don’t feel thankful?

Life doesn’t usually meet our selfish demands. We experience wants that are never met, struggle with needs, and suffer great disappointments and losses along the way. These situations can instantly neutralize our positivity and thankfulness. When we don’t feel thankful, we often don’t act thankful. Why should we?

Culture dictates that we need to approve of every outcome or it can be invalid or unfair. So, we should reject that part of our life and seek out self-satisfaction. Our perspective is the only one that matters, and the world tells us that our perspective should be focused on ourselves.

As Christians, we know that isn’t right, but how many of us catch ourselves falling into this way of thinking? When my oldest daughter was born with Strep B, I was not thankful. I was angry, surprised, and fell into post-partum depression. But I had so much to be thankful for in that time! That trial would have been much more manageable if I had remembered to be thankful and keep my mind on the most important things. Yes, I may have struggled with depression anyway, but that struggle would have looked a lot different.

Things I Should Be Thankful For…

I would like to remind myself to be thankful for some things in my life that can be challenging and that I don’t always feel thankful about. Maybe you might need the reminder, too. Below are five blessings in my life that can also challenge me and add stress to my life. It’s so easy to forget to be thankful for these!

1. My Children

This should be pretty obvious, right? It’s not difficult to take them for granted, though, and only notice when they are frustrating or an inconvenience. Just this week someone said to me, “Do you know how great your kids are?”

This woman had just babysat them and was practically glowing as she spoke about them. My first thought was, “I know.” The next thought was, “Hmm. I don’t act like it all the time, though.”

In relationships we need to be even more careful about showing our thankfulness. We can cause severe damage when we don’t. And remember that our children are perceptive and know when bitterness and resentfulness have replaced thankfulness.

2. My Husband

He’s pretty great. The counter space in our kitchen could handle having a little less of his random stuff, though. (In case he’s reading…) I often forget to tell him I’m thankful for him because he’s so easy to take for granted. My husband is an accountable guy who is nearly always there for me when I need him. But that one in a thousand times when he drops the ball can leave me quickly forgetting how blessed I am with him because my unrealistic expectations lead to my feeling selfish and unthankful.

If you want to torpedo your marriage with an unnecessary obstacle, display an ungrateful spirit to your husband. That should get the job done. Otherwise, let him know what he means to you.

3. My Church

My church is so dear to me. The people there became family instantly, and I have forged lifelong bonds in the short time we have been there. On the other hand, it is still a church, and we can find fault or annoyance in any church. None are perfect, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t filled with blessings, love, and support. Mine sure is!

So, if someone annoys you or the church votes for carpeting you don’t favor, move on. Be thankful for a church home that loves the Lord and keep things like carpeting and “challenging” personalities in perspective. Really, those things just don’t matter much, if at all.

4. Financially Lean Times

Now we get to it. Family and church can be challenging sometimes, but they don’t hold a candle to the stress we have had over very tight finances. Over the years our financial status has changed, and there were times that every single dollar was accounted for each month. Breathing room didn’t exist.

Was I thankful for those times? Not at first. Eventually, though, I felt empowered through the experience. I learned skills I needed to make it until the next paycheck, and I witnessed God answering prayers and providing for our needs. I worried some, but He consistently proved to me that He provides and comforts.

I feel certain lean times will come again. They always seem to, at least. And when they do, I’m not going to miss out on what God does in our lives by complaining and only focusing on the struggle. God is too good for me to want to miss any of what He does for us.

5. My Failures

I’m an only child. I’m a perfectionist. Failing, therefore, is just not an option in my mind. Nevertheless, the Lord has given me plenty of opportunities to practice failing.

In my failures I have always learned something about myself and about God (once I was a Christian). Also, He has often used those failures to securely shut doors I was trying to get through. That has been heartbreaking in some of those moments, but He has led me to better things I never considered or saw coming. (My husband, for example.) As always, His ways are best.

Why We Should Always Be Thankful

The impression I often get when someone says we should always be thankful is that I should be thankful for everything and never feel “bad” feelings. God doesn’t want us to push down our emotions and fake thankfulness. He fully expects us to have feelings, but we have so much to be thankful for, even in hard times.

When my mom died, for example, I didn’t feel thankful for her life ending. I was devastated! But I was thankful that God had given me opportunities to talk to her about salvation. I was thankful for Jesus because we spoke a whole lot more than usual after I received the news of my mom’s death. And He offered peace and comfort through those terrible first few weeks. I was able to give thanks while I mourned. This sort of thankfulness is uniquely Christian, and we should strive to live this way.

So, how can we be thankful…all the time? Do we really need to be? The Bible is filled with seemingly endless reasons for Christians to be thankful, even when we aren’t. I don’t always feel thankful, but I always have reasons to be thankful. Here are six verses to remind us of how blessed we truly are in our lives.

Bible Verses To Remind Ourselves To Be Thankful

1. This is God’s will.

“Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

2. Thanks for everything good in your life belongs to the Lord.

“Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;”

Ephesians 5:19-20

3. Give thanks to God because He strengthens and protects you.

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.”

Psalm 28:7

4. God has given us a home in His secure kingdom.

“Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe,” (ESV)

Hebrews 12:28

5. God is righteous.

“I will praise the Lord according to his righteousness: and will sing praise to the name of the Lord most high.”

Psalm 7:17

6. We are children of God. We’ve been adopted!

“But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.”

John 1:12-13

Final Thought

I can be thankful when things are going my way. I can maybe even be pressured into being thankful on thankfulness’s national holiday. Sadly, most of the time thankfulness can easily slip away, especially when times are tough or I’m not in my Bible regularly. Of course, I often find trouble and neglecting my Bible go hand in hand.

Listen, it’s okay to struggle and feel things that don’t seem very thankful. Some hurts and trials are not easy to see past. On the other hand, don’t lose sight of what, or rather Who, matters most. Give thanks to God for what He’s done for you, is doing for you, and will do for you. Praise Him, give Him glory, and let your thankfulness be a testimony of your God in all your circumstances to those around you.

We might not always feel thankful, but let’s not forget, with God, we always have things to be thankful for.

Am I alone? Do you ever struggle to be thankful?

Image courtesy of Kiy Turk via Unsplash.