How To Identify A Good Christian Ladies’ Retreat

Christian women love a ladies’ retreat, don’t they? These retreats provide women with a chance to get away for a bit, spend uninterrupted time with other women, and hopefully, feel encouraged in their walk with the Lord. Ladies’ retreats vary from one day to a long weekend, and they might host a dozen women or thousands. No matter the specifics, women are hungry for these opportunities. I have been to several kinds of ladies’ retreats in two states and from two denominations Each one was unique in good and bad ways, I suppose. Overall, I love going to a ladies’ retreat, but they are, without question, not all created equal. Through the years I have settled on ten attributes that often make for a good Christian ladies’ retreat.

Is this an exhaustive list? Are all the things on this list necessary to make a good Christian ladies’ retreat? No and no. I believe you will find some of the items on this list are in the non-negotiable category for you while other things may just reflect my personal preferences. However, I’m confident these attributes won’t hurt a Christian ladies’ retreat.

What To Look For In A Christian Ladies’ Retreat

1. A Good Christian Ladies’ Retreat Is Organized.

I’m a Type A personality. My husband might say I’m “particular…”

So, as you might imagine, I like things organized and easy to understand. I wonder about the time, care, and prayer that went into a ladies’ retreat when the leadership seems confused and unsure about what is happening. Have they thought about this at all?

The last retreat I attended was a great example of how to organize a Christian ladies’ retreat. The arrival/registration was simple and straightforward. At that time, we received our room assignments, keys, pen, nametags on lanyards, schedules, and the bulletin (this was actually a booklet). The booklet included a map of the grounds, clear room assignments for workshops, and a very detailed schedule from arrival to the closing session.

The organization demonstrated the leadership’s desire for the attendees to have a stress-free experience which could allow us to focus on what we were learning from God’s Word throughout the retreat. It also showed us love and care in a practical way. Sure, putting on an organized ladies’ retreat isn’t necessarily all about the feels, but it was a clear example of an act of service. It mattered, and it made the retreat a much better time for all of us.

2. A Good Christian Ladies’ Retreat Is Affordable.

Uh-oh. Money is never ever, ever, (*whispered* ever) a comfortable topic to discuss. Some women think a $700 overall retreat cost would be very affordable. That’s all right, but we just can’t be friends. I’m kidding…kind of. I mean, we definitely don’t travel in the same social circles, but I bet you’re nice.

Seriously, though, a good Christian ladies’ retreat isn’t about making and/or spending a ton of money. The focus should be on bringing together as many women as possible to help them feel refreshed and reminded of the importance of God in their lives. Spoiler: That doesn’t have to be a lot of money!

Nonetheless, things do cost money, and those things can add up fast. A retreat I view as responsible with money and accessible to women will have an associated cost that is commiserate with the retreat experience. In other words, the experience justifies the price. Some hotels and cities simply cost a lot. I would, however, question a Christian ladies’ retreat that chooses to invest in flashy locations, celebrity speakers with celebrity price tags, and an appearance of luxury.

We can’t completely forego the cost, though. Therefore, I am always encouraged when a ladies’ retreat offers scholarships for women in financial need. In addition, a ladies’ retreat is much more affordable if all the costs have been paid upfront. Sure, there is always shopping, but that is optional. (Well, in theory shopping is optional.) Women don’t want to come to a ladies’ retreat to find out there are hidden costs they are unprepared to pay.

3. A Good Christian Ladies’ Retreat Feeds The Women Well.

My husband just attended a men’s retreat and came home bragging about the great food. Yes! Bragging! But I totally get it. The featured dinner item was steak. It was a hearty, filling, delicious meal. In contrast, women often find themselves in line for a light salad, deli sandwich made with discount meat, and some soup. Insult to injury being that some of the women at the retreat had to make that food.

Don’t let me sound snobbish. Sandwiches are one of my favorite foods. My criticism rests more in that the retreat is supposed to be a special event for the attendees, and they are often fed forgettable food. Not every retreat can make the meals extraordinary, but it would be a treat for the women to not have to bring their own food and have the chance eat something that looks, smells, and tastes especially good. Y’all, that could be spaghetti if done right.

I’m just going to say it. A Christian ladies’ retreat is not the time to be frugal on food or worry about calories. Enjoy a few good meals with good company…and at the bare minimum, don’t ask the ladies to provide food.

4. A Good Christian Ladies’ Retreat Has Music Everyone Can Sing.

Did I hit a nerve? I hope not, but musical opinions run deep in Christian circles and have split more than a few churches. I’m not going to say that a good Christian ladies’ retreat can only have Julie-approved songs, though that would make my day, for sure. However, I am saying that creating a music experience that looks like a concert with an overworked fog machine and repeated invitations for the Holy Spirit (a la NAR churches) misses the mark.

What I know from experience is that retreats with music that is biblically accurate, points to Jesus, and can be enjoyed by women of all ages makes for a lovely time of worship. I’m not sure there is a sweeter sound in the world than a group of believers singing together about Christ.

I have been to Christian ladies’ retreats that used mostly radio hits and very loud worship bands. A lot of the women stood there silently because they didn’t even recognize the songs. I usually knew the songs a little bit but still opted not to sing often because I couldn’t even hear myself (let alone the other women). Plus, a lot of the songs were more biblically adjacent than biblically accurate.

5. A Good Christian Ladies’ Retreat Is Welcoming And Inclusive

Don’t fret. I haven’t suddenly become an LGBTQ+ ally, but inclusive isn’t a bad word. Have you ever been somewhere and felt completely isolated? I have.

I have been to two separate conferences where I felt completely alone in an overcrowded room. One was the Hearts at Home Conference and the other was the Great Homeschool Convention. I’m not blaming those conferences for the unfriendly vibe I felt, but I didn’t exactly feel like these events encouraged reaching out to new people. I went alone to those events, and no one reached out with a kind word or even a smile. The only interaction I had was when a woman at the Hearts at Home Conference asked me to watch her bags so she could get out of line to talk to a friend she had spotted. I decided to track her down after about five minutes, gave her bags back, and slid back into my shell.

A good Christian ladies’ retreat will feel like one big family. These women aren’t strangers. No! These are sisters you haven’t met yet. The last retreat I went to felt exactly like this. Yes, I could be unavailable and keep to myself, but I found many women were eager to start a conversation and say something encouraging. Friendly faces and a hospitable environment can be the difference between a good and bad ladies’ retreat.

6. A Good Christian Ladies’ Retreat Plans For Downtime

One of the things women on retreats look most forward to is time to relax. Many of us still have children at home and never-ending lists of responsibilities. So, ladies at retreats desire time to relax. The best Christian ladies’ retreats build this time right into the schedule.

It’s tempting to make the most out of your time and money by filling it with activity and busyness, but sometimes what we need most is less.

7. A Good Christian Ladies’ Retreat Encourages Different Ages To Mingle

Christian, we spend far too much time separated in age-specific groups. This is one of my issues with public school, actually. And I don’t like to see it at church either. At a good Christian ladies’ retreat, though, women of all ages and backgrounds will study God’s Word together, eat with one another, and just have some fun!

One of the workshops at the retreat I recently attended was choir. There were dozens of us ready and willing to learn a song in one session (eeek!), and work together to respectfully and lovingly glorify God with our worship. It was such a beautiful thing to see high schoolers standing alongside “senior saints” while praising the Lord.

We can learn a lot from each other, ladies. So, at a retreat, let’s connect with women from different seasons of life. A good Christian ladies’ retreat will provide opportunities for us edify one another and for the older ladies to teach the younger (Titus 2:4-5).

8. A Good Christian Ladies’ Retreat Has Speakers Who Focus On The Word

Oh, boy… This issue can really get me in a tizzy. A good Christian ladies’ retreat will not offer an abundance of fluff and homemaking seminars. The speakers will focus on God and His Word. Our main objective is to learn more about Him from these retreats. That requires a focus on the Bible.

Ladies’ retreats often fall into self-focus. To be fair, it’s difficult to avoid when most of the books and speakers marketed to Christian women are, at best, self-help “experts” with the ability to speak “Christianese.” Women expect this sort of content, but they need more.

If you just want a little self-help, then go to a secular retreat. On the other hand, if a ladies’ retreat is going to serve Christian women the most, it ought to be rooted in His Holy Word.

9. A Good Christian Ladies’ Retreat Doesn’t Talk Down To Women

I have a theory that part of the reason some ladies’ retreats offer a preponderance of fluffy, spiritually void options is that there is an underlying belief that women can’t handle and don’t need the meat of the Word. I, for one, wholeheartedly disagree. We absolutely need strong biblical teaching.

We aren’t unable to understand the Lord, and He wouldn’t keep us away. Did Jesus tell women to leave when He spoke. “I’m sorry, Mary, but why don’t you go into the other room and talk about the best way to make a meatloaf. The men are going to learn about the Heavenly Father now.” Can you imagine?

So, if a retreat sounds more like a housewife training convention than a place to dig into God’s Word, it’s probably not a great use of your time. Is learning about being a housewife a bad thing? No way! I am one and believe it is a high calling. As I see it, there’s no such thing as “just” a housewife. However, a good Christian ladies’ retreat is going to focus on the Bible and our relationship with God much more than our practical homemaking skills.

10. A Good Christian Ladies’ Retreat Leaves Women Hungry For More Jesus

I can’t put my finger on exactly how a ladies’ retreat will feed a woman’s desire for more Jesus, but I know it happens at the best retreats. I suspect the retreat’s focus plays a major role. When the leadership, main sessions, workshops, and music come together to exalt our Lord, we will walk away excited about Him. We’ll want to share what we learned at the retreat and study to learn more about Him.

On the other hand, a retreat which focuses on our works, our value, our Enneagram number (please, don’t go there!), or our inner strength to overcome trials only encourages us to seek deeper inside for the answers we desire. We inevitably leave these retreats with excitement about whatever we heard about. If it was light on Jesus, He won’t be what we are most excited about.

The other good sign at a retreat is when the people involved in running it are excited about what God can do with it. These people are usually enthusiastic, prayerful, welcoming, and unabashedly focused on God.

Are you attending retreats that make you want to open your Bible and learn more, or are you going to ladies’ retreats that make you more interested in one particular author, speaker, paradigm, or yourself?

Final Thought

As far as I know, there is no rule that states Christian women have to attend a ladies’ retreat. Besides, it isn’t always possible due to travel restrictions, finances, season of life, or lack of interest. That’s just fine. But I do recommend every woman go to at least one ladies’ retreat, if possible.

Most retreats have been around for a while making it easy to research. This list might help narrow down which events you consider attending by giving you something to use as a comparison when checking out websites, reviews, and listening to personal stories about these retreats. Take time to decide so you end up at a good Christian ladies’ retreat that honors God, spiritually feeds you, and gives you the opportunity to rest and be refreshed.

What makes a Christian ladies’ retreat good for you?

Image courtesy of Priscilla Du Preez via Unsplash.