When You Don’t Want To Minister

Christians, especially those of us in ministry or married to those in ministry, are expected to feel like ministering all the time. Others assume we are always ready and willing when opportunities arise. Hopefully, that’s true of us more often than not, but the human factor does play a role in ministry. My church recently finished Vacation Bible School, and I put a whole mess of energy, prayer, and time into it. Not to mention, my social anxiety was off the charts some days! Almost immediately following that week, all I wanted to do was hide. What happened? Was my salvation in question? What’s going on when I don’t want to minister?

What Does It Mean To Minister?

I am using the word “minister” to mean many things. Sometimes we limit the definition of that word to relate only to pastors. Our limitations might expand to the folks who teach classes at church and lead in public positions outside of the pastoral role, as well. Those people certainly minister to others, but I am referring to the ministry that any believer can do. So, in addition to ministry that looks high profile and “official,” I’m also referring to those who pray for others, reach out to people in need of a friends, encourage, welcome church visitors, provide meals, clean the church, give rides to church services, counsel/lend an ear, etc.

Any time we walk through the church doors, especially if we have some role in the church, ministry presents itself to us. Out in the “real world” chances to minister are abundant. There is always an opportunity to serve others, but some days (or weeks or months) we don’t want to minister to anyone. It might not be popular to say or encouraged to admit, but ministry is not always a welcomed part of a Christian’s day.

We’re Not Alone When We Don’t Want To Minister

Lacking the motivation to minister to others can feel isolating. I mean, everyone else seems ready to engage, right? Christians on social media are constantly sharing the Kingdom work they’re doing, and churches are filled with hard-working servant-hearted believers. Then, there I am on some Sunday morning wishing for a fever. Anything to escape ministry! Anything to avoid that “easy” Sunday morning people talk about…

If you ever feel like this, please know you aren’t alone. Every moment in your walk with the Lord is not going to be a hilltop experience. We’ve all been there. Struggling to desire participation in ministry is not some smoking gun that points to your damnation.

Feeling like you don’t want to minister can be a symptom of quite a few things. It might be a sin issue you need to address. You might have a personal circumstance that requires attention but isn’t sin. Of course, there could also be a serious problem with your relationship with the Lord. The first thing you need to do is figure out why you don’t want to minister.

Reasons We Don’t Want To Minister

It can be difficult to understand why on an otherwise normal day we feel averse to ministry. Personally, I love my church and the people in it. I enjoy pitching in and be available to others. So, why does it feel so hard sometimes? Here are a few ideas.

Why You Don’t Want To Minister #1: Burnout

Ministry can be all-consuming if we aren’t careful. At some point, something is going to give. Eventually, we feel like we can’t do one more thing. Ministry burnout is real, and it can be devastating to our testimony and personal walk with the Lord.

How do you know if you are experiencing burnout? Well, I think it’s one of those things that we all know when it happens to us. We might suffer from insomnia or sleep too much (if there really is such a thing as too much sleep). Burnout can also lead to low motivation, fatigue, emotional stagnation, poor focus, and even looking for an exit from all ministry.

Burnout can lead to a complete avoidance of church fellowship and relationships just so we can have time away. If you’re in an official position in ministry, then you can’t simply stop attending, of course. However, ministry will almost certainly feel like drudgery. Serving others will be a shallow attempt to do God’s will…with an attitude problem.

Why You Don’t Want To Minister #2: Feeling Overwhelmed

Ladies, we have a special level of overwhelm, don’t we? Church obligations, work, housework, homeschool (or homework help), extended family expectations, friends, hobbies we want to pursue…

When life feels like it never slows down, the house is never clean, the kids are never satisfied, the husband constantly needs something, and there is no time to be alone and catch your breath, then ministry can end up on the very end of your list of things to do. Hmm. It might even end up off your list. I mean, who has the time, anyway?

Why You Don’t Want To Minister #3: Depression/Anxiety

A lot of Christians will argue that depression doesn’t exist. I’m not that Christian. I whole-heartedly believe that depression and anxiety issues are real. I myself have dealt with them. The topic is nuanced and divisive, so how about we agree that sometimes we can all feel “down?” OK, good. I’m glad we’re on the same page.

Worry and depression are not helpful companions in our attempts to minister to those around us. Both can eclipse any other desires we have, and they often make us the center of our focus. God, His will, and those around us become a distant concern at best as we fixate on the discomfort we feel.

Why You Don’t Want To Minister #4: A Bad Match

In what ministry do you participate? Contrary to what some pastors and leaders may have you believe, a need in a ministry does not mean you should fill it. Children’s Church isn’t for everyone, all right?

Who wants to “do ministry” when the ministry in question has been foisted upon them? Any ministry in which we participate ought to be suited to our spiritual gifts, done willingly, and be something to which we believe God is calling us. Otherwise, we enter that ministry opportunity with a bad attitude and a readiness to flee. And for those who dutifully (yet unhappily) serve, the ministry will chip away at the person over time.

Why You Don’t Want To Minister #5: Disconnect From The Lord

“Julie, do you want me to help you carry that heavy box upstairs? It sounds like you’re struggling.”

“Nope. I’ve got it.”

My days are peppered with some version of that conversation. I don’t ever need help. I can handle everything all by myself because I’m strong, independent, capable, and I don’t want to bother anyone. This drives my husband nuts! After all, he offered. Why not take him up on it?

Instead, I slowly and loudly work my way up from the basement with whatever heavy object it happens to be at the time. My Fitbit assures me that my step count is heading in the right direction as my heart rate skyrockets. I’m out of shape, y’all.

Some call this self-reliance while others think it reeks of pride. Either way, it’s no way to get things done, but it’s how a lot of us approach life. And ministry.

The Bible says:

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

Philippians 4:13

“But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:19

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

Proverbs 3:5

“It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.”

Psalm 118:8

“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”

Psalm 18:2 (ESV)

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

That’s just a small taste of what God’s Word says about God’s strength and wisdom upon which we should rely in all we do. People have limits. Our physical and emotional strength, mental acuity, and knowledge can only take us so far while God will never tire, get mental fog, have a bad mood, or be uncertain about the wisest course of action. Ministry outside of His strength is bound to struggle and perhaps fizzle out.

Disconnecting our ministry from God is a guarantee that we will want to give up eventually. We can only do so much in our own power, and that limit becomes apparent pretty quickly when we divorce ourselves from His strength.

Turning Things Around When You Don’t Want To Minister

As I said before, everyone goes through a period of time when they don’t want to minister for some reason or another. There’s no reason to beat ourselves up over it, but we don’t want to live in that mentality either. Some of us have something very serious going on that is negatively impacting our ministry, and those individuals may need counseling or some other intervention of a significant magnitude. Meanwhile, the rest of us can start with the ideas below.

1. Prayer, Bible, Church

First, let’s check on our relationship with Jesus. Are we regularly praying? How often do we spend time in our Bible? Is church attendance less frequent than it should be?

Being too lackadaisical regarding prayer, time in the Word, and church attendance will turn us away from spiritual things. So, take stock and determine whether or not you need to improve in these areas.

2. Fellowship With Believers

Fellowship, despite what many of my fellow Baptists would say, is not a reference to eating.

Fellowship refers to “friendly association” with others who share your interests. Think about it. Who do you spend your time with? Are you devoting your social time to people who know Jesus, support your faith, and worship with you? It’s all right if you spend time with family and friends who aren’t born-again Christians, but don’t forsake intentional time with like-minded believers. Those relationships will help you grow in your faith. Unbelievers won’t.

3. Step Back

The temptation is to keep chugging along and continue on the existing trajectory. Stop it. Seriously. If you have reached the point at which you dread ministering to others, then you need a break. And that’s OK.

We all need a time-out or a small break to think and breathe. Ask for it, and if you meet resistance, then insist upon it. The last thing I will encourage anyone to do is push through in ministry to others when that person doesn’t want to minister at all. That’s a set-up for failure and sin.

Please, step back and take some time.

4. Reprioritize

Now that you’ve stepped back, this is a great time to reprioritize what you’re doing. It’s time to assess what needs to happen in your life (i.e., taking care of kids, work) and how much time you have left for other things. Pray for guidance on what you can and should say “yes” to and seek counsel from other godly friends and family.

This is the time to cut out anything that stretches you beyond your capacity, and this might mean letting go of a ministry. What a fantastic time to pursue ministry options you haven’t had the time to try in the past! This might be the beginning of a new season for you.

5. Step Back In

The goal is not to avoid the messy and hard work of ministry. Rather, you want to figure out what made you feel like you don’t want to minster any longer and address the problem. Hopefully, after leaning in closer to God, connecting to other believers, stepping back from extra responsibilities, and reprioritizing what you commit your time and energy to, you’ll feel ready to turn your attention back to serving others.

Final Thought

It is hard to admit to yourself when you just don’t want to minister. Christians minister. It’s what they do! So, to feel burdened by it and be seeking ways to avoid it can feel scary. Although I don’t think we need to go into crisis mode over it, not wanting to participate in any kind of ministry is a serious red flag that shouldn’t be ignored.

Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. If this is where you are right now, then acknowledge it so you can face it head on. Ministry, though difficult and challenging at times, should bring us joy because, at the very least, we know we are pleasing the Lord. If you can’t relate to that, it’s time to figure out what’s wrong and fix it.

Have you ever felt like you don’t want to minister anymore? Did you want to give up? Tell us about it!

Image courtesy of Kinga Howard via Unsplash.