Bi-Vocational Ministry: It’s Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be

My husband told me he wanted to be pastor before we got married. I practically patted him on the head and said, “Suuuuure.” He was already a teacher, so the career thing seemed pretty buttoned up. We quickly started having babies, but he wouldn’t let go of this seminary stuff. How would we afford it? When would he go? Where would he go? How would we afford it? Money was the biggest concern for me because I was staying home with children and planning to homeschool when the time came. Overall, though, I was supportive. Kind of. I was trying, OK? But bi-vocational ministry never crossed my mind.

Seminary Days

Well, three years and two babies into our marriage he started an online seminary program.  We had just moved back to Illinois to be near family after a year in full-time ministry at a boys home. I felt like a failure for leaving after only a year, but I was so glad to be moving on towards Chris’s call to pastoral ministry. How glamorous it would be living as a pastor’s wife. There would be respect and a special gifting yet to be seen. I would be just as a young pastor’s wife should be (which I thought was quite unlike me at the time). Oh, but everything would click. To be young and naïve again…

Chris worked full-time at a public school for the laughable wages that teachers receive in Central Illinois. He also took on as much responsibility at our church as he could for practical experience opportunities. He found time to study, read, and complete assignments in the evenings and early mornings. Meanwhile, I was home with a toddler and an infant in an awkwardly designed townhouse with lousy neighbors. These are some of my favorite memories, though. Money was very tight. Stress was high. But we were moving forward, serving, and finding our way. I suppose the challenge of balancing everything was not enough because we soon bought our first house. It was bank-owned and in a rougher neighborhood, but we could afford it. Then, we had another baby… I was certain, however, that once he finished seminary, life would settle down. Let’s be honest. I was a fool.

Too Many Jobs

While my husband took classes, he also did some pulpit supply. It was through pulpit supply that he was offered a position as a bi-vocational pastor. This was the best of both worlds to us. He could be a pastor, and he could also still make full-time money with benefits at his day job. It was a small church, and it needed revitalization. The drive each way was also about 45 minutes for us, so we sold our house with a nice profit to put toward our new house. (Can you tell we’re an “all in” kinda family?)

We chose a home between both his jobs, and we began the day-to-day life as a bi-vocational household. Chris woke up very early to study, prepare sermons, and complete other church duties. Then, he went to work as a high school special education teacher. He returned home to dinner and three, four, or five kids, depending on the year. His evenings were filled with work he took home from the school and more church work. Saturdays were when he did most of his sermon preparation, and Sunday was church day. Undivided attention and quality time with him were difficult to come by, and he was exhausted.

Eventually, Chris took on a second church. Sunday mornings were quite the adventure as we went from one church to the next. Two needy churches and a full-time job proved to be too much, and he ended up with just one church. The glamour I expected was nowhere to be seen. The super spirituality I assumed would anoint me at his appointment to the role of pastor was woefully absent. It was still just me, and my husband had what felt like two full-time jobs.

Bi-Vocational Ministry Pitfalls

I’ve heard it said that bi-vocational positions may be the future for pastors as churches struggle to pay a living wage. That frightens me a little. On one hand, having another job allows a pastor to feel independent of his church. If he makes a decision they don’t like, then he doesn’t need to fear being let go because he still has a job if they do. Those church bullies and factions don’t have as strong a hold on a bi-vocational pastor. On the other hand, there’s no such thing as a part-time pastor. It’s like being on call all of the time. It’s having no hours and all the hours. There is a feeling that between the church and the day job there isn’t enough time for all the responsibilities and family. It’s telling the kids “later” more often than you want. It’s feeling like you are doing nothing well.

I don’t have a problem with bi-vocational ministry. In fact, it can be a wonderful way for a church to have a pastor while giving that pastor autonomy and control over his financial future. Small churches can definitely benefit from this set-up because it can be difficult to entice anyone into full-time work for part-time pay. My criticism, though, is directed at the reluctant men and overbearing women in many of these small and sometimes sick churches. The pastor and his family will often take charge of every ministry because no one volunteers.

Toxic Dynamics

Men will not step up to a role of elder or deacon. If the expectation extends beyond passing a collection plate, then these gentlemen make an excuse for why it’s too much commitment or responsibility. The women will bristle at any new thing that they don’t have their hands firmly grasping. If they can’t control it, then they don’t want it. Do you know what that means for the bi-vocational pastor? He’s the only one people come to for help, counsel, accountability, etc. Need money? Call the pastor. Need counseling? Call the pastor. Need someone to pick you up because your car broke down? Call the pastor. Need a Sunday School teacher? Call the pastor. It’s maddening and a complete abuse of the pastor and his family. It also neuters his ministry as some members halt any form of change simply because “we’ve always done it this way.”

You won’t see this negative dynamic in every church with a bi-vocational pastor. There are healthy churches with active members who understand that church is where we are fed AND serve. I speak from personal experience on both sides. I’ve seen health and dysfunction. I have also visited churches and spoken to church leaders from both sides. My concern, however, is that these inactive, lifeless churches seem to be more and more common. This appears to be especially true in rural areas where you often find those hard-working bi-vocational pastors struggling to get their churches moving forward. The church becomes stagnant and defeating for them.

Time For Action

It’s time for these sick and dying churches to get off the bench and into the action. That “part-time” pastor needs your help! Get up, equip yourself with the Word, pray, use your gifts, and share the gospel. If you can only afford to pay a pastor for part-time work, then you cannot afford to sit back and leave him to it and have any hope for your church to grow, reach the community, and bring others to Him. You are just setting up another pastor to burn out and feel ineffectual. The pastor, bi-vocational or not, is not the only servant in the church, and it’s high time church members remember that. Believers aren’t called to an easy and comfortable life. We’re called to pick up our cross and follow Him (Matthew 16:24), and that sounds very uncomfortable to me.

In our experience, bi-vocational ministry was a blessing and a challenge. We certainly had good times, and we loved the people with whom we ministered. But, man, those lows get low in ministry when the workers are few and the loneliness sets in. We walked in young, enthusiastic, and completely naïve. So, so, naïve. My unsolicited advice for churches with bi-vocational pastors is to be actively involved. Let go of past hurts and expectations, and know that God can do a great work in you and your church. Please, don’t put the weight of the church solely on your pastor and his family. No one expects radical, quick change. Rather, focus on Spirit-led momentum whether gradual or fast. Trust God with your church, and pray, pray, pray for your pastor and his family.

Final Thought

Would we do it all again? Yes, but we would do it differently. If bi-vocational pastoral ministry is the future, then pastors need to prepare for that kind of work. And churches need to decide if they want to be a church that proclaims the gospel and reaches its community or a social club that hires a Sunday speaker. If they’re the latter, then they ought to just close their doors because that’s not a church.

What experiences have you had with bi-vocational ministry?

Related Reading

The Lonely Pastor’s Wife

When You Don’t Want To Minister

How To Help Your Pastor Husband

Image courtesy of Skull Cat via Unsplash.