Is A Small Church Right For You?

What size church is the best size to attend? Where should pastors who are looking for work apply? There are strong opinions regarding church size, and I’m happy to sit back, eat my popcorn, and take in the show. However, I’d like to put in my two cents and advocate for small church membership. I won’t go as far as to say small churches are inherently better than large ones, but I will say, with certainty, that small churches are so much better than many people think.

People Don’t Know What A Small Church Is…For Real

I was at a Southern Baptist ladies retreat in Illinois several years ago and had the opportunity to attend a breakfast for pastors’ wives. We were in a beautiful ballroom decorated with classy table linens and glass stemware. As a mother of many, tablecloths that aren’t made from plastic make me feel like a member of the 1% club. So, this was pretty fancy for me. We also had a special speaker who was going to teach us about leading small church ministry for women and children.

In 2016, the average Southern Baptist church in Illinois had approximately 80 members. Meanwhile, the average was 110 members across the Southern Baptist Convention as a whole. Suffice it to say, small church ministry was relevant to the women at this breakfast event.

The speaker was friendly, gifted in public speaking, an author (she gave us her book for free), and totally clueless. I don’t say that to be mean or judgmental. She really had no idea what she was talking about concerning small church ministry. The speaker was obviously well-versed in women’s and children’s ministries, but she quickly revealed her inexperience with small churches. It wasn’t long before she attempted to connect with us about managing our children’s ministry wing in our church buildings. “Ah, yes,” I thought. “The one classroom we have for all the children and the corner of a room we use as a nursery. She gets it…”

Sadly, I see small church ministry resources and speakers overestimate the size of small churches all the time. Recently, I read someone on Reddit had called her church of 1,500 people medium-sized. Um, I guess so.

Aren’t Small Churches Disappearing?

A common misconception is that small churches across the country are shutting their doors and making way for larger churches. Only country bumpkins attend a small church, don’t ya know?

According to Barna in 2016, most American Christians attend small and medium churches. Here is the breakdown:

46% – attend a church with 100 or less members

37% – attend a church with more than 100 but less than 500 members

9% – attend a church with 500 – 999 members

8% – attend a church with 1,000 or more members

Small churches are still alive and serving their communities. They have a place in the Church. So, let’s not push their unique needs aside or ignore what they bring to the table.

The Small Church: The Good And The Bad

Personally, and this is truly just my opinion, small churches and small church ministry make more sense for spiritual growth, service in the community, and a meaningful church life. At the same time, I’m not blind to the problems that can present themselves in a small church. No church is perfect.

I’ve made a list below of some (not all) of the pros and cons of small churches. This list is not meant to suggest that every small church has these pros and cons. As my wise husband says, “If it don’t apply, let it fly.” And, please, don’t take the cons personally or think I’m diminishing your negative experiences because I included pros.

My husband and I have belonged to several small churches, and we’ve served in ministry in most of them, as well. None of the churches have ticked all the boxes, but this list represents our experiences and the experiences of others we have met along the way.

Pros

1. Family Atmosphere

Small churches allow the members to get to know one another in a deep and intimate way. All believers are brothers and sisters in Christ, but a small church provides opportunities to develop true familial-like relationships in the church.

A small church nearly guarantees people there are invested in the health of your marriage, your son’s latest cancer scan, your visit home to see your parents, etc. Keep in my mind, however, that all families get messy on occasion. Some people can’t stand that, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

2. A Church, Not A Business

My husband is a pastor. That means he counsels with members, preaches multiple times a week, prays for the church, studies the Bible, encourages the church body, and tends to a number of other spiritual needs. You know what my husband doesn’t do as a part of his position as pastor? Business. He’s not the CEO of our small Baptist church.

Some churches get so big that the pastor is distracted by the logistics of running the church. The focus moves to numbers, dollars and cents, and programs. Sometimes, it even becomes more about the “experience” or show that members and visitors get on Sunday morning.

Small churches tend not to bother with all that “CEO pastor” stuff because they don’t need to. The church’s focus can be on what matters most: discipling Christians and sharing the gospel.

3. Access To Discipleship

Big churches offer discipleship, but I’ve generally heard about it happening through programs and small groups. That’s fine, but I don’t believe that you can manufacture a genuine discipleship relationship. Relationship. That is the key to successful discipleship, and large churches make avoiding real relationships simple. You can disappear into the hundreds of other people.

Someone might argue that people who retreat from small groups and other discipleship programs don’t care to be discipled in the first place. There might even be skepticism about a church member who doesn’t reach out to others for friendship and fellowship. Well, all those things are nice examples of outgoing behaviors. Some of us need a small church environment to come out of our shell and be open with those around us. Small churches make that easier.

Sure, you can find discipleship in any size church, but small churches offer more opportunities for close, deep discipleship relationships. Besides, good luck hiding in a small church!

4. Opportunities To Serve And Use Your Gifts

It simply isn’t possible that every person in a large church can serve. These churches get to a point where there are more people than vacancies in church ministry. A small church seems to always have space for more people to serve.

Another benefit of small churches in terms of service opportunities is that the leadership will have a chance to get to know you and discern where you might be a good fit. Rather than filling out a form to alert church leadership about the ministries you want to join, you’ll display your gifts naturally and find a ministry that fits your unique talents.

5. The Pastor Knows You

This might be a con to some folks, but the pastor of a small church usually spends a great deal of time getting to know the congregation. These men and women become his friends or at least people he regularly prays for and cares about. He’ll ask about your exam and remember how much you like maple syrup. He will know you. And this makes him approachable and accessible.

On the other hand, some churches become so large that congregants watch the sermon on a television in an overflow room. In other instances, the pastor’s church will create satellite churches. The pastor doesn’t preach at these, of course. He is streamed in on television or a campus pastor (or whatever term he goes by) will preach a message written by a team so that all the satellites preach the same message. In this case, your pastor doesn’t know you. For you, it’s an exercise in anonymity.

6. Less Age Segregation

Small churches often don’t have enough members representing all the different age groups to create as many Sunday school classes or small groups as a larger church. Instead, believers of all ages find themselves learning and studying together. Why have a Bible study for women ages 18-26 when those women could sit beside women in their 40’s, 60’s, and 80’s? These older women have so much wisdom to share if they only had younger women who would listen. Titus 2 calls for older women to teach the younger, and small churches often create more opportunities for these relationships among women just by the nature of being a small church.

Cons

I love small churches. For me, they are home. But let’s not act like they don’t have their own set of issues.

1. Divisiveness And Bullies

Although it can happen in any size church, divisive Christians and bullies seem to disproportionately attend small churches. I have no data on this, but I think it might be because it is easier to cause damage and bully in a small church. It’s just a lot harder to create factions and gang up on leaders and members you don’t like when the church has hundreds or thousands as opposed to dozens.

You can’t escape bullies. They show up everywhere. However, a small church can protect itself against them by not being swayed by lies, gossip, and any other methods being used to create strife. Rather, a church can stand together with a focus on Christ and the gospel. You don’t have to give these people the time of day. So don’t.

2. Financial Struggles

Like it or not, churches need money to operate. Some need more and some need less, but they all need it. A small church may have less expenses than a large one, but the bank account is usually much smaller, too. Trying to raise funds for projects, ministries, and salaries can feel like bleeding a turnip.

In addition, losing even one family can significantly alter the church’s budget. Suddenly, a church with a little financial wiggle room may need to tighten the purse strings after a family moves away. In larger churches, it generally takes more than a single family leaving to feel an impact on the pocketbook.

3. Losing Members Feels Personal

Do you remember I told you that small churches allow members to have close relationships with one another? That’s great, right? Well, it can also open us up to deep hurts when those people we have developed meaningful relationships with decide to move on.

The hurt is especially bad when someone leaves under negative circumstances. For instance, I know a pastor who was very good friends with a man in his church. Their two families socialized outside of church and had spent years worshipping together. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the man approached the pastor with a disagreement about something in the church. It wasn’t a salvific matter, but the man and his family (along with his parents) left the church. The ties of friendship were severed, and two families had up and left.

Had the man who pulled his family to a new church been one of hundreds of members, the pastor may have been less hurt by the incident. Small churches, though, make anyone leaving feel personal. And sometimes it is very personal indeed.

4. Comparison To Bigger Churches

No matter how wonderful a church may be, we can’t help but notice when others are succeeding. The real problem with comparing a small church to a large church is that they can’t and shouldn’t be the same. A small church will never be able to offer programs, events, and experiences in the same way that a large church can. A large church will have more resources which inevitably makes it more visible in the community and capable of purchasing things and staff.

Small churches serve well in their immediate communities. They can reach beyond, but they shouldn’t count on ever having the same reach as a megachurch. As I said earlier, small churches are more personal. That, however, can cause staff and members in small churches to feel as if they are less significant to God than larger churches. Comparison kills ministry, hope, optimism, enthusiasm, and motivation.  

5. Burnout

Less people = Less workers. Small churches tend to burden the same people with church needs time and again. A woman might find herself working in the nursery, teaching Sunday school, volunteering in children’s church, participating in VBS, cooking during any food-related event, and playing piano during service. No, she’s not an employee. There just aren’t enough people able or willing to share the load. Some people handle a large workload well. Most burnout eventually.

6. “Small Church Thinking”

Small church thinking may be new to you, but if you know – you know. Here are some examples of how a small church may think too small.

– A constant refrain of “We’ve always done it this way.”

– The church must vote on literally every issue.

– Micromanaging how the pastor spends his money.

– Having a committee for everything.

– Thinking the community owes the church something. “Our community has turned its back on us.”

– Rejecting people because they aren’t wearing the church’s unofficial uniform (i.e., suit and tie for men, women in dresses and skirts).

Small churches can get stuck in their ways and begin equating preferences with godliness. These churches think about small things that have no eternal consequences, making them a major issue. Meanwhile, these same churches often diminish the gospel message and practical service to others.

Final Thought

No church is perfect, but small local churches serving their communities whether or not they receive accolades and attention for it are on the right track. Yes, small churches have shortcomings and might not be too impressive when stacked against a large church. But God is working in those small and faithful churches. The lost are seeing Christ in those believers and being loved and cared for in those deep and intimate friendships. The next time you are looking for a church or helping someone else find one, reconsider small churches. It’s the obedience and faithfulness of a church, not the programs and numbers, that God cares about.

What kind of churches do you prefer? Why?

Image courtesy of Timothy Eberly via Unsplash.