Imposter Syndrome: A Ministry Secret

As a pastor’s wife I’m in an interesting position. I don’t have an official role at our church, but I play a specific role in many people’s eyes because of who I married. I understand why some may see me that way, I suppose, because I have lived out that role to some degree over the years. I’ve hosted small groups in my home, led women’s Bible studies, provided homemade meals for large group meetings, and I’m often included in counseling for women and marriages with my husband. From the outside, this must look like I am confidently taking a level of leadership in ministry. Here’s the secret, though. I often feel like a fraud. I have an on-again, off-again case of imposter syndrome.

Defining Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is pretty much what it sounds like. It is the feeling one has that she is an imposter in her own life. She feels like a fraud. Often, someone with imposter syndrome attributes success and positions of leadership to luck. If you are experiencing imposter syndrome, you might believe that you have somehow fooled people into believing you are more capable or fit for the position in which they have placed you than you actually are.

I may have felt something similar when the hospital sent me home with my first baby. “Really? Shouldn’t you be giving her to an adult?”

Although this kind of self-doubt and uncertainty can have a fleeting moment in anyone’s life, imposter syndrome settles in as an unwelcome companion throughout one’s achievements. It’s the frenemy who reminds you that other women could do a better job at this task, or that you wouldn’t be trusted with such a large responsibility if people today had known you fifteen years ago.

Imposter Syndrome In Ministry

Most people think of imposter syndrome as something a “boss babe” might deal with, or it might strike in the mind of an individual who moves quickly up the ranks in business before really paying her dues. However, ministry has its fair share of imposter syndrome opportunities. Who, you might wonder, struggles with this? “Everyone I know has their act together.” Riiiiiiiight.

Who Does Imposter Syndrome Target?

1. The Pastor

Yes. That guy who is supposed to shepherd the church and counsel and comfort the grieving and administrate building tasks and visit the sick and write sermons and study and…and…and… The blessing of being called to pastor is immeasurable, but so is the weight of the responsibility.

Some pastors, like my husband, are relatively young. All the tasks and duties that come with the office of pastor only become more intimidating when there are people in the pews or seeking counsel who have been saved longer than the pastor has been alive. This man, as well as all the others, can begin to question himself and his calling.

“What do I have to offer people who have been Christians so much longer than I have?”

“I have my own struggles with sin, how can I help others with the same thing?”

“I lost my temper yesterday. Pastor XYZ is so calm and collected. He probably never loses his cool. I’ll never be as good a pastor as him.”

“If the church really knew me, they’d throw me out of here.”

“Maybe I misunderstood and saw a calling to pastoral ministry because I wanted to see one.”

I could go on, but I think the point is clear. Imposter syndrome can be like a weed that grows in your thoughts and pops up where you least want it. And, yeah, pastors struggle with it.

2. The Pastor’s Wife

A sweet friend recently told me that when she first met me, she didn’t think I looked like a pastor’s wife. I love that because I don’t want to fit into a mold that someone else fashioned for me. I want to be whoever it is that God is shaping me into. Nevertheless, imposter syndrome still finds a way.

I’m not a career Christian (i.e., saved at a young age and raised in a Christian home). So, I’m already a little different than my peers in church. Because of those twenty-six years of secular life, I often feel like a guest amongst believers. Throw a “title” on me like pastor’s wife, and I feel way out of my league. I have often believed myself to be the weak link in my husband’s ministry. “They called him to pastor despite being married to me.”

My situation is a little unique because I’m sort of an oddball, but stereotypical pastor’s wives experience imposter syndrome, as well. Like their husbands, they take on heavy burdens in the church and often lead because they want to or the members of the church expect these women to lead. These pastor’s wives understand their role as a specific list of guidelines and jobs to which they must adhere, only making their lives more difficult. What happens, though, when the expectations of a pastor’s wife don’t line up with her gifts or passions? She feels like she doesn’t deserve to be in her role at the church. She feels like an imposter.

3. Teachers/Leaders

This is a big group of people. Sunday school teachers, junior church teachers, youth group leaders, small group leaders, vacation bible school teachers, and a whole lot of others belong to this group. And they are all at risk of suffering from imposter syndrome. But why?

I think a large reason teachers and leaders experience imposter syndrome is because they didn’t volunteer for their role completely willingly. You know how it is at church, right? A Sunday School teacher announces a teacher vacancy, but you don’t even consider volunteering. You aren’t particularly good with kids, you’re usually late to Sunday School, and you’ve never taught anything in your life. After service, though, the Sunday School administrator approaches you and corners you before you can hide.

Before you know it, you’ve been talked into just “trying it out” for a couple of months. Two years later you are still waiting for your trial term to come to an end. You never felt capable, and you feel like the importance of your position is more than you are capable of handling. Ironically, you’ve done a fantastic job for the last two years. Everyone praises your class and is thankful for how well you interact with the children. Even so, you just know you shouldn’t be allowed to do this.

Imposter syndrome is not a surprising response to accepting a responsibility you never anticipated. All too often, teachers and leaders in the church have been in that kind of scenario and felt like they are fakes.

Imposter Syndrome Doesn’t Have To Stay

We carry the weight of self-doubt and insecurity alone most of the time. Maybe we’re ashamed of feeling that way, or maybe we don’t think anyone else will understand. They will. I promise.

Imposter syndrome is not reserved for ministry workers. You can feel like a fraud in any aspect of your life. Imposter syndrome is an equal opportunity liar. If you’ll listen, it will readily nestle into your thought life. So, whether you are in ministry as a vocation, a layman, or somewhere in between, you need to be prepared to battle imposter syndrome head-on. The best way to fight any lies you encounter is to meditate on the truths of Scripture.

“I’m Not Good Enough At This.”

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Christian, we don’t need to be perfect or even qualified to serve the Lord. He will give us the strength we need. He will use our weaknesses to glorify Himself. How much better is it to serve Him and be a picture of God working through us rather than our amazing, perfect selves getting it done on our own? Read your Bible. God did not call perfect men and women to serve and minister. He called flawed sinners who leaned on Him for their needs.

“Maybe God Doesn’t Want Me To Serve In A Ministry.”

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.”

Ephesians 2:10

We are of great value to the Lord. We are His creation and meant to serve Him. Not to mention, God already planned what good works we would complete. You may not feel like enough or ready to serve, but God has called you to these works. Be confident in His design and work in your life.

“I’m Too Scared To Keep Doing This.”

“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

1 Peter 5:6-7

If we feel fearful of being incapable of the ministry we have been given, we need to turn to Jesus. He cares for us and will carry the burdens and anxieties that plague us in this life. There is no greater peace than that which we find in trusting in the Lord.

“I’m Dealing With This All Alone.”

“Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”

Hebrews 4:14-16

Christ understands what it is to be human. He isn’t some far-off sky genie who doesn’t feel compassion for us. He not only feels compassion, but he also offers mercy and grace when we ask for it. In fact, He gives it when we don’t ask sometimes, too. Ask Him for help when you struggle with imposter syndrome. He will absolutely comfort and give you wisdom if only you’d ask.

Final Thought

Self-doubt, insecurity, and feelings of being a fraud are not unusual for anyone to have at times, but people in ministry don’t seem to talk about it much. You’re not backslidden if you have these feelings, but you shouldn’t root yourself in them. Imposter syndrome will undoubtedly negatively impact your ability to serve in ministry in any capacity, but you can seek wisdom and guidance from God’s Word.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to others if you have thoughts of imposter syndrome. Chances are the people you speak to will be supportive and also have their own stories about feeling like an imposter in areas of their own lives.

Remember, you may be surprised by the ministries in your life, but God has always known. Be confident in His plans for you.

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.”

Psalm 37:23-24

Have you experienced imposter syndrome? How did you handle it?

Image courtesy of Sammy Williams via Unsplash.