Do You Trust God With Your Children?

Today’s post was supposed to be a completely different topic. It was going to examine the criticisms of a biblically conservative lifestyle choice. We’ll get to it sometime in the future because today I felt I needed to write about an unpleasant event in our household this week. This event brings up a significant shortcoming in my walk with the Lord, and I don’t think I’m the only one struggling with this. I don’t always trust God with my children.

My intention is not to be a “do what I say not what I do” kind of person, but I also want to be real and transparent. I don’t have it all together and struggle with sin like everyone else. This week I was reminded that it is much easier to talk the talk than walk the walk. I often speak about God’s goodness and protection, encouraging others to have faith in Him. However, I recently had to look in the mirror and ask myself, “Do you trust God with your children, or are you relying completely on yourself for their well-being?”

I Didn’t Trust God With The Accident

A dear friend of mine offered to come over this week with her children and watch my kids so that my husband and I could go out on a proper date. No kids allowed! Two milliseconds later I agreed, and we were planning a day out on the town. It was a fun time, but I was excited to see my kids when we arrived at home.

My friend took me aside and quietly told me one of my sons was injured. Another one of my other children pushed him while playing a game (not maliciously), and my son fell forward onto his shoulder. She knew we were on our way home, so my friend got him a cold pack and had him rest. I checked on him and knew immediately something was way off about him. As a woman who gets lightheaded at any of her children’s injuries, I called for my husband to check on it more closely.

Moments after I called for my husband, he and my son were on their way to the emergency room. My other four children and I were alone in the house, and I confidently and humbly prayed for my son.

Just kidding. I worried and paced around with anxiety.

A Power Struggle Because I Don’t Always Trust God

God created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1). He does whatever pleases Him (Psalm 115:3). Nothing is too hard for God (Jeremiah 32:17). No matter what my plans may be, those of the Lord will always prevail (Psalm 19:21). With all that in mind, it makes absolutely no sense for me to continue this lifelong power struggle I have with God.

Before coming to Christ, I really had my act together. I wouldn’t say that I was raised to be particularly organized or thoughtful about the future. In fact, I was a slob and apathetic about everything well into my teens. Once I was on my own, however, I snapped into the kind of person you want organizing your trips, college plans, and life. Lists, budgets, inventories, folders, and schedules became my best friends. Despite being helpful tools, they became a way to “self-medicate” for my anxiety and fear. Control was my drug of choice. I turned to it often. If I’m honest, I still seek it out when I’m overwhelmed, and it displaces God in my heart when I do.

I Can Protect My Children Better Than God

Over time I have learned to let go of a lot of things. My faith has grown in a myriad of ways, but I am prone to cling to control when it comes to my children. It’s as if I’m saying “Lord, you can have my health, my marriage, my career, and my life. But don’t You mess with these kids. They’re mine, and I will do a better job than You at protecting them.”

Now, I don’t say that out loud or even explicitly think that, but it’s the message I am sending. Truthfully, I don’t always trust God with my children. My oldest was born sick, my middle child had an amniotic band in the womb, and our fourth baby had a frighteningly difficult time gaining weight. I turned to Jesus in all those difficulties but only after leaning on myself first. Instead of trusting God to see us through, I began by focusing on my circumstances. I was caught up in the idea that I was on my own in situations God had put me in.

I lost sight of the Bible Basic 101 fact: God is sovereign.

Scriptural Proof: I Should Trust God

1. Proverbs 3:5-6

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

These are well-known verses that we don’t think deeply about due to their familiarity. Regarding my kids, am I trusting Him or turning to what I “know” is best for them? Am I filled with worry and grasping at anything I can to handle it myself? Have I acknowledged Him?

2. Isaiah 26:3-4

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength:”

When I am filled with anxiety and fear I am as far away from the peace we are given in Christ as I could be. Peeling back the layers of emotional response (emotionalism is never a great way to go about responding, by the way), I see a lack of trust. Without trust in Him there can be no peace.

3. Isaiah 12:2

“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.”

Trust and not be afraid. Trust and fear don’t make good companions. Which would I rather have in my life?

4. Psalm 9:10

“And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.”

To forsake is to abandon. When we snatch to control what only God can, we are preparing to be abandoned. “He won’t help me this time,” we think. “This is too much for Him, and He’s not going to stand by me.” Wrong. When the Lord is your Savior, He never forsakes you. We are His children, and we can trust that He will not leave us.

4. Psalm 56:3-4

“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.”

Our worries and concerns are so often related to the here and now. Understandably, we need to consider these things, but they are not our greatest concern. Our spiritual condition should top that list. Rather than fear what might happen to us, such as when I waited on my son’s diagnosis this week, we ought to praise Him and trust in the Lord.

But Does God Love My Children?

My son found out at the emergency room that he had broken his clavicle (collarbone). This is a particularly painful bone to break, and the treatment is to wear a sling and not move it too much. My mama heart is broken for him. The activities in which he wants to participate before summer comes to an end are out for him. Swimming, camping, and jumping on the trampoline are not looking good. Even things like foosball and jiu-jitsu are on pause. Then, there’s the pain. I woke up this morning and found him utterly destroyed on the edge of his bed. His silent tears turned into screams of pain and frustration. And I was helpless to fix it.

This is when I’m tempted to get mad. What did he do to need or deserve this? I recognize that my family’s current struggle is insignificant compared to the moms who have stood by a child who underwent cancer treatment or suffered serious and debilitating injuries in a car crash. This isn’t a “poor Julie” moment, but it is an acknowledgement that moms feel hurt when their children hurt. And we can be tempted to give God an accusatory glare in response and believe “He doesn’t love my children as much as I do.”

But He does.

Psalm 127:3 tells us children are a “heritage of the Lord.” They are gifts from God to us. He holds a high view of children. We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and God knows us intimately while we are still in the womb (Psalm 139:13-16). Furthermore, the Lord knew us before we were even in the womb (Jeremiah 1:5)! He has created us with purpose and deeply cares for every life, even your children. Even mine.

But My Child Is Hurt/Sick/Suffering

Moms know there’s little on earth worse than seeing one’s child struggling. I’m told this continues into adulthood. Whether the struggle is illness, bullying, pregnancy loss, or divorce we want the struggle to go away. We want to take it into our hands, but we need to trust God in these times.

Have you ever learned something deeply important that brought you closer to God from the incredibly easy time you were having? Maybe, but probably not. I cling to Him more tightly and grow in my faith most markedly when I go through something difficult. Why not my kids, too? Will God not use pain and trial to grow them, as well? He isn’t picking on our kids or forgetting them. He might be teaching lessons, creating testimonies that change lives, displaying His strength and goodness, but whatever it is He has planned it. Mama’s job isn’t to interfere and “help” by “fixing” it.

Final Thought

For those of us who have been blessed with children, motherhood is a serious responsibility given to us by God. Christian parents need to disciple, physically care for, and discipline their children. On the other hand, God never meant for us to usurp His role in our children’s lives. No one loves our children more than the Lord, and we are told repeatedly in Scripture to trust in Him and fear not. This sounds easy until you hold that child in your arms for the first time.

As I care for my son in the upcoming weeks and watch as he heals from his injury, I will remind myself often that God loves my son. I’ll help him ease his pain and comfort him when he’s overwhelmed. All the while I’ll know that God is sovereign and my son can have eternal life because of the sacrifice on the cross accomplished by God’s Son.

So, how about you? Do you trust God with your children?

Want More About My Parenting Failures?

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Image courtesy of Zach Lucero via Unsplash.