Church Reviews: Going To Church For The Wrong Reason (Part 1)

Thanks to the Internet, anyone in search of a church can do all the research she wants before actually visiting it. As a relatively socially awkward person, I appreciate being able to screen out places I would regret visiting by simply looking them up on my phone. Online reviews have provided me with more information than I expected, though. I’ve been surprised to read a lot of criticism for biblical doctrine and lack of entertainment. Meanwhile, the positives leave me scratching my head. It seems like an awful lot of Christians are going to church for the wrong reason.

Going To Church For The Wrong Reason

When we investigate others’ reasons for attending church, we run the risk of becoming, or at least sounding, unnecessarily judgmental. I’m willing to risk it because church attendance, though important, has a purpose. There are countless reasons someone might enjoy attending a particular church, but none of the following reasons should top our list for why we recommend it.

Read on with an open mind, and feel free to disagree with me in the comment section below.

Church For The Wrong Reason #1: Kids’ Programming

Yes. I’m charging full steam ahead. Kids’ programming, also known as the sacred cow in many churches, is not the reason we should attend a particular church. So, kids’ church programs are bad? No, I didn’t say that.

To be fully transparent, one of the reasons our current church appealed to us was the fact that there were kids and programs for our kids. They didn’t have that at other churches. We are happy to see our children connect with other kids from like-minded families, but this isn’t why we attend our church.

Kids need to hear the gospel, be discipled, and have opportunities to serve. Churches don’t need programming for that. It’s nice to have, if it’s done correctly, but a doctrinally sound church with no programs can achieve the same goals.

Unfortunately, review after review named kids’ programming as the reason to go to a particular church. And I’ve witnessed this in real life. I’ve known families to drop their kids off at a church with differing beliefs and questionable doctrine because the kids wanted to be a part of its programs. Meanwhile, the parents waited in the parking lot or attended their program-free church without their kids.

Programming is icing on the cake, not the meal. Your kids’ spiritual health doesn’t hinge on activities with peers or youth pastor Ted and his “relevant” topics. Don’t be pulled in by a church’s attempt to lure you in with empty programming, and also don’t let solid kids’ programming be the main determining factor in where you attend. That’s not enough.

Church For The Wrong Reason #2: Community

Community is such an important part of church life. My family has been ill for quite a while, and subsequently, I missed a lot of church. When I finally returned, I was thrilled to see my church family. I genuinely missed them. Worshiping with them is something I don’t like to miss. So, yes, I love my church community. That’s not usually what church reviews are referring to, though, when they say “community.”

If someone online suggests a church because of community, they usually mean that people are friendly, accepting, and fun. Sometimes the community praises include activities, but it can just mean that the church community vibe makes them feel happy. That sounds nice, but it also sounds like a community center or country club.

The community at church is responsible for serving and learning together. There is a great deal of submission and humility necessary to get along and maintain a healthy church environment. Contrary to what many of us expect, the church community is also responsible for calling out our sin. Talk to me about vibes after someone takes you aside to discuss her concerns about your words or behaviors. That’s never an easy conversation, no matter how lovingly you’re approached. But guess what… That’s church community. We can be vulnerable with one another, honest (I mean, really honest) with each other, and sometimes we’ll leave convicted and burdened rather than “happy.”

Community is the wrong reason to attend a church if your definition of community is a happy, fun place to hang out and be encouraged to keep on keepin’ on. “Baby girl, you’re enough!”

Church For The Wrong Reason #3: Music/Amazing Band

Believers singing together to worship God is one of my favorite things to hear. I’m blessed to be in a church with many talented singers and musicians which is an extra blessing. I’m sharing this with you to make my feelings about music clear. I love singing in church, and I most definitely appreciate when it’s done well. However, I would attend my church even if everyone sang off key, and the musicians left something to be desired.

Internet reviews, on the other hand, make music and the band into a make-or-break issue. Reviews of popular churches are filled with praise for the worship band. Doctrine? Teaching? Discipleship? These topics tend to be missing in those reviews, but the professional concert-level “worship” is shared as the selling point for the church.

It’s no sin to have an excellent song service. God has gifted people with musical abilities that can be used for the Lord, and I don’t see why they shouldn’t have the chance to do so. Is it enough reason to attend a church, though? If all I know is that the music is great, then should I attend that church?

Rather than music topping the list of reasons to go to church, Christians should be on the lookout for biblical teaching, discipleship, evangelism, and service opportunities. Honestly, too much focus on the performance aspect of the music tells me our eyes are off Jesus and on man. Sure, we can have fantastic music and a biblically solid church, but the church can be biblically solid with mediocre music. Don’t base your decision to attend somewhere solely on music.

Church For The Wrong Reason #4: Great Coffee

When I saw a review praising the great coffee and encouraging others to attend because of it, I sincerely thought it was a joke. By the eighth or ninth review concerned with coffee, though, I realized it was legit.

I am your basic middle-aged millennial woman who has built part of her personality around coffee. You’ll rarely see me without one. So, I understand the importance of a good cup of coffee. However, in my experience, church isn’t always the place to find that. But that’s never deterred me from going to church.

The more I thought about it, however, the more I realized my surprise was naïve. In a country filled with consumer Christians (i.e., those who are looking to get something but not give while treating church like a product), why wouldn’t coffee quality be a top tier reason to go to a church? I wonder if this mentality is why so many large churches put coffee shops in their lobbies.

Whether it be coffee, merchandise, or fun photo-ops for special days and events, church is not for our personal satisfaction and positive experience. In fact, the sad consequence of online church reviews is that they make us look at church like another business we can rate and criticize based on our personal experience. Did we get what we wanted? If not, then we leave two stars and a complaint about the gift shop not having larges in our favorite sweatshirt design and some of the music being too old-fashioned (i.e., traditional hymns).

Church is not a business built to please us and meet our demands. It’s a place to gather with other believers, worship the Lord, learn more about Him through preaching and teaching, and to minister to others. Sorry, but a great cup of coffee has nothing to do with it.

Church For The Wrong Reason #5: “Come As You Are”

Churches shouldn’t judge the people walking through the door. I can’t stress enough how big the battle is for some people to get to a church on Sunday morning. The reasons are endless, but ultimately, it’s a spiritual battle. Before being born again, I wanted little to do with churches of any kind. I can only imagine how discouraged I would have been if the people at the church I walked into on May 3, 2009 had looked at me and decided I didn’t belong.

That pastor there often referred to our church as a spiritual hospital. I love that picture. None of us are perfect, and we all need help. I’d say that church could have claimed it wanted people to “come as you are,” but churches saying that today don’t mean it the way my first church would have.

The Wrong Way To “Come As You Are?

Church reviews applauding the “come as you are” approach describe churches that don’t challenge sin. Rather, they encourage you to be who you are. There’s an underlying message of “you are enough.” I have bad news for you. You’re not enough. Me neither. We’ve all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).

“Come as you are” wouldn’t be a dangerous stance to take if there was an expectation to change into Christlikeness. Sadly, these highly reviewed and recommended churches could say “come as you are and stay as you are.” That’s not just dumb (sorry, but it is), but more importantly, it’s completely unbiblical. There’s no sanctification in that!

Don’t take away from this that any church saying “come as you are” is not concerned with spiritual growth. The expression means anyone can attend and be welcomed in service, but reviews of popular churches I’ve encountered insinuate that there’s no accountability. Personally knowing people from some of these churches, as well, has given me insight into those particular “come as you are” churches. They are more concerned with warm bodies in the seats, filled offering plates, volunteers, and making a name for themselves.

If the church you’re looking at is well-known and recommended due to its “come as you are” attitude and acceptance, be careful. That could be great, or it could mean anything goes so long as you attend and give. Either way, having a friendly attitude isn’t reason enough to attend a church. I imagine there are many friendly Unitarian churches that undoubtedly tell people to “come as you are.” I don’t suggest you go to that one, though.

Final Thought

Can anyone really say there is a wrong reason to attend a church? If so, who can say that? When it comes down to it, the answer to that question isn’t me. I just want to encourage you to think about why you choose to attend your church. In all likelihood, there are many reasons. You might even put coffee on that list. But ask yourself if the list is primarily comprised of shallow or unbiblical reasons. Consider whether or not you’re overlooking serious doctrinal error for less important things. If not, I’m thrilled for you. If you are, though, would you be willing to think about finding somewhere strongly rooted in God’s Word and focused on Jesus?

Can you think of any wrong reasons to go to church?

Image courtesy of Kyler Nixon via Unsplash.