7 Things You Aren’t Thankful For (But Should Be)

Thanksgiving is barreling toward us at neck-breaking speeds, and I believe all of us run the risk of letting it pass us by. Christmas decorations were out in October, so who has time to think about Thanksgiving, right? It’s an important day, though, and we should allow ourselves to slow down enough to think about everything and everyone we have. Really, we should do this more than once a year, but the holiday is a great reminder to those of us who can let thankfulness sit on the shelf. As we consider the many blessings in our lives, we ought to figure out if we are only thankful for the easy things. Maybe we need to reevaluate what we are thankful for and change how we see things.

Who Says We Should Be Thankful?

Have you ever felt as if everything seemed to go wrong, and you couldn’t think of one thing to be thankful for that day? It’s like, “I don’t want any of this, and I’m certainly not going to thank anyone for it!”

We’ve all been there, but that response is indicative of a heart issue rather than a circumstantial one. Sure, your circumstances may be terrible, but a mature Christian response isn’t an angry rejection of what God has placed in your life.

Don’t read that last paragraph and think I’m calling you immature. I mean, I am… But I’m really saying we all are. Sanctification takes time, and we aren’t completely free of sin yet. So, I expect we will have some undesirable responses to life at times. For me, I hope to pull out of my selfish reactions quicker than previous times and actively think about being thankful in the midst of trial.

I haven’t arrived, so to speak, but God continues to work on me.

One might wonder why anyone would bother pursuing thankfulness when anyone would understand sometimes being unthankful. Who cares? As usual, the answer is simple. God cares about thankfulness, and we know He does because we have His Word to show us.

Scripture On Thankfulness

Below is only a small sample of places the Bible references thankfulness. I find them encouraging and good reminders that I could be more thankful. Before discussing what we should be more thankful for, let’s read some of what God has to say on the subject to put our minds in the right place.

“Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

“In every thing?” It’s all right. That’s a challenge, to be sure, but it isn’t as challenging as it seems at a glance. So many Christians understand this to mean being thankful for everything, but that isn’t the direction. Instead, we need to be thankful in every circumstance.

For example, I might be diagnosed with terminal cancer one day. As much as I long to see Jesus, I guarantee that will never be welcomed news. I will not be thankful for that illness, but I will be thankful that Jesus died on the cross for me. My eternal address will be with Jesus, and I’m already thankful for that! I might even find unique opportunities to share Christ or bless others, and that would be something for which I could give thanks.

I guess, you could say it’s all about “big picture” thinking. Just like Christians can have joy when they are unhappy, they can also give thanks to God no matter what is happening in their lives.

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7

These verses are well-known to the worriers and control freaks like me. Rather than carry a load of anxiety and worry, we should tell God about your troubles and ask for help. The most interesting part of these two verses is concerning how we are supposed to pray…with thanksgiving. Yes, even in times of anxiety and need, be thankful as you cry out to Him. 

“Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms.”

Psalm 95:2

We have all witnessed people at church who look like they’re having a root canal during congregational singing. I’m just going to say that their expressions don’t exude thankfulness or joy. (Hey, we’ve all been there.)

However, this verse directs us to come to God with thanksgiving before we make our “joyful noise.” Why? For one, God deserves our praises and thanks. Full stop. But as an added bonus to us, being in a thankful mindset draws our attention more fully to God’s goodness and breeds joy.

Besides, are we really worshiping God if we aren’t thankful?

7 Things We Aren’t Thankful For

We all know that we should be thankful, but we still have a bit more work to do. If we are honest with ourselves, then we will see we are not thankful for everything we should be. It’s different for everybody, but I’ve come up with seven things I’ve observed Christians struggling with being thankful for over the years. Myself included.

1. Be Thankful For Correction

When I hear the word correction, I think of children getting in trouble for something. I wish that is where correction could stay, but adults get corrected, too. As believers, we should expect it and accept it as a positive thing in our lives.

The Bible, itself, is for correction.

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:”

2 Timothy 3:16

Christians have responsibility regarding correction, as well. If the Word isn’t convicting someone…maybe because she isn’t in it…then a believer should lovingly and gently correct her. In love, we should long to restore our brothers and sisters in the Lord to a good relationship with God and others.

“Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.”

1 Timothy 5:20

“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.”

Matthew 18:15-17

Is receiving correction easy? No. It hurts our pride, embarrasses us, and makes us want to defend ourselves. Depending on our previous relationships with friends and family, correction may even feel unsafe. Correction is good for us, though, even with the negative responses that can bubble to the surface.

Correction shows us that someone loves us enough to help us and cares about our spiritual health. Not to mention, it draws our attention to our weaknesses which is necessary if we hope to grow as people and particularly as Christians. How can we not be thankful for that?

2. Be Thankful For Trials

I assume that I’m not alone in my desire to live a life of very little difficulty. Not many people are begging for trials in their lives. Trials guarantee stress, fear, uncertainty, and the potential for great loss. It doesn’t feel like something we would be thankful for, does it?

Paul reminds us in Romans that we should welcome the trials in our lives because it will help us develop patience. Other translations say “endurance” or “perseverance.” No matter the word, the truth is that as believers suffer trials, they learn to trust God more.

“And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;”

Romans 5:3

Peter expands on how we should receive trials by telling us to:

1.) Expect them

2.) Rejoice in trials because you get to share in suffering as Christ did.

“Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”

1 Peter 4:12-13

James echoes Peter’s sentiments by describing believers who endure trials as blessed and encouraging them to consider those trials a joy.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,”

James 1:2 (ESV)

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”

James 1:12 (ESV)

The Gospel of John draws our attention to what matters most in any situation, trial or otherwise. No matter what troubles we may encounter in life, we will one day be free of all difficulty because Jesus has defeated sin and death. I don’t want trials, but I can certainly be thankful that they will mold me more into Christlikeness and, of course, that these trials will one day end forever.

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

3. Be Thankful For Change

I like things the way I like them. I’m a big fan of traditions and routine, in part, because they’re comforting and predictable. There is a safety in consistency, and many of us want that. We desire comfort. The issue with clinging onto that comfort, though, is that Christians haven’t been called to comfort.

After Moses died, Joshua was to be the next leader. So, God commissioned Joshua to lead Israel and finally take the promised land. God told him something that is also true for us today.

“Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” (emphasis mine)

Joshua 1:9

God was with Joshua, and He is with us, too. If you are truly a child of God, He won’t abandon you. So, first thing we need to do is let go of the fear of change. Wherever He leads you or whatever challenge He places in front of you, He is there.

Next, consider what being a Christian requires. Change! We are “new creatures” when we are saved, and God will change us over time to better reflect Him.

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

2 Corinthians 5:17

“That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.”

Ephesians 4:22-24

In addition, think about your life and what it would be like if it never changed. Admittedly, some of the changes may have been scary or unwanted, but they were necessary and meant for your good.

Personally, I was nervous about marriage, and terrified of having children. What would these changes mean for me? Becoming a one income family, moving to a new state, agreeing that my husband should leave his profession for full-time ministry… That’s a lot of change, and I didn’t necessarily welcome all the changes with open arms. I should have.

God has done amazing things through change, and I am so thankful for His work in my life.

4. Be Thankful For The Mundane

As children we can’t wait to grow up. We make lists of things “I’m gonna do when I’m an adult.” The list usually includes classic gems such as eating pizza every day, staying up late, playing videogames all day, and not taking a shower. Then we grow up and discover the ugly truth. Adult life is kind of boring.

Children think life is going to be one big Chuck-E-Cheese pizza party, but it turns out that we need to go to work, pay bills, take the kids to sports practice, and make dinner (every night!). That’s a little ho-hum, and it’s easy to look at your “boring” life and be ungrateful.

However, the crazier the world gets, the more I appreciate my seemingly mundane life. I have five healthy children, a healthy marriage, enough money, a reliable vehicle, a warm home, food in my belly (maybe too much?), and no fear of bombs falling on my home or gun violence.

Currently, my life is safer and more secure than many people around the world. That’s a gift! I can’t guarantee what tomorrow will be like, but I should be thankful for a life that allows me health, safety, and the ability to worship God as I please without fear of persecution.

5. Be Thankful For People…All The People

People. *deep sigh* There are so many of them out there, and it can be really hard to deal with them.

Do you know those people who make you feel good? They make you laugh, care about you, are fun to be with, and are just a genuine pleasure to be around. Yeah, well, I’m not talking about them. Everyone is thankful for those people. I mean the other ones.

Many years ago, someone introduced me to the term EGR (extra grace required), and it changed my life. Some folks are EGR people, and we have to accept that. Oh, you don’t know anyone like that? Then, it’s probably you. I’m kidding. (Probably.)

God places all kinds of people in our lives, and we won’t prefer them all. Honestly, we may not like them all, but we are supposed to love them. But you know, that’s not the hard part. We grit our teeth and love them for Jesus, but we’re resentful about it.

“Why did God bring her to my church?”

“He won’t stop talking! Lord, shut his mouth. Please!”

“Maybe I won’t go to Bible study anymore because she is too much for me put up with.”

We might show kindness when we see them, but we don’t see them as made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). If we did, then we would be thankful for them despite being EGR people.

God created all people, and we should be thankful for that. In addition, shouldn’t we also be thankful for what God is teaching us through our relationships with challenging people? He uses circumstances and people to sanctify us.

6. Be Thankful For Whatever Means In Which You Live

I have lived with significantly different checking accounts as a Christian. My husband and I were both employed in full-time jobs with decent pay, and my job provided health insurance at no cost to me. We had no children and, even with debt, had a lot a “fun money.”

Now, fast forward to one income, multiple children, and no savings. That was paycheck to paycheck living with no room for error, emergencies, or surprises. Careful budgeting, creative meal planning, and prayer got us through the leaner times.

No matter how much money we have had, God has always provided. Nonetheless, discontent regarding our financial means has crept in on occasion. It’s so easy to get swept up in it. I felt embarrassed having to say ‘no’ to some things because we couldn’t afford them, and I tired of out-of-the-box thinking. For instance, I would have to create an overly thought-out staycation day with my family in order to avoid any spending beyond gasoline. It felt too hard.

But I was missing the blessings when that attitude crept into my heart. A tight budget made me mature quickly as a homemaker and finding inexpensive free ways to spend time with my children usually led to quality time. I interacted more personally with my kids than I would have if I could have just dumped money at some activity for them while I sat and zoned out. (That might not be you, but I was a tired momma of Littles. I can see myself going there.)

In times with more resources I have been thankful for the ability to take some homemaking shortcuts (frozen chicken nuggets for the win!) and take our children to new places. Frankly, it isn’t difficult to be thankful for having more than enough.

But what about when God provides enough? Are we thankful for what we have when God has given us food in our bellies, a roof over our head, and clothing on our bodies – and that’s it? I have been incredibly thankful for that at times, and to my shame, I have greedily wanted more. Let’s strive to be like Paul on this.

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

Philippians 4:11-13 (ESV)

7. Be Thankful For Jesus

What’s Jesus doing on this list? So far, everything has been things we see as negative but are good for us in some way. But Jesus is good all the time, so why put Him here? Well, all Christians say they are thankful for Jesus, but many aren’t thankful for the Jesus of the Bible. He’s a hard pill to swallow. Rather, they are thankful for the Jesus they have created to suit themselves. Are you thankful for a Jesus who:

1. Rejects gay marriage?

The argument is often something like this: “Jesus didn’t say marriage is only meant to be between a man and woman. Show me the verse… You can’t.”

Touché. There is no verse quoting Jesus as saying, “Thou shalt not engage in gay marriage.” On the other hand, he did confirm the Genesis definition of marriage.

“But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;”

Mark 10:6-7

That’s not the most popular take on gay marriage today, even in Christian circles. Nonetheless, it is Christ’s teaching directly out of the Bible.

2. Discourages divorce?

I’ve written extensively on divorce. If you are interested in a deeper dive on the subject, you can read “Divorce: Looking Through A Biblical Lens” and “6 Lies That Lead Christians To Divorce.”

How did Jesus speak on the topic, though? Well, he wasn’t in favor of it. Christians, especially progressive females, justify divorce for all kinds of reasons. My two favorite excuses for divorce are “I’m not happy,” and alleging abandonment or abuse when a husband clearly hasn’t done either. Since when was working a job that requires long hours abandonment?

Anyway, Jesus spoke about divorce as something married couples should not do, if possible. Of course, he did teach it was acceptable in instances of infidelity.

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (emphasis mine)

Mark 10: 7-9

“It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”

Matthew 5:31-32

Can you offer praises and thanksgiving for a Jesus who would command you to fight for your marriage and even accept an unhappy marriage if your spouse wouldn’t work to improve it?

3. Condemns fornication?

Sex outside of marriage should be a topic we can all agree on in the Christian community. There are multiple places in God’s Word warning against the sin of fornication. It’s a sin, so don’t do it. Of course, that’s not really in keeping with our current moral values as a culture, and Christians are less likely to see fornication as a black and white issue in this modern world than in years past.

Below are results from a survey Pew Research conducted in 2020 that measured Christian attitudes on fornication.

57% – Sex between unmarried adults in a committed relationship is always or sometimes acceptable.

50% – Casual sex between consenting adults who are not in a committed relationship is always or sometimes acceptable.

18% – Engaging in an open relationship (i.e., both individuals agree to allow dating and sex with other people outside the relationship) is always or sometimes acceptable.

19% – Having sex on the first date is always or sometimes acceptable.

What does Jesus have to say about fornication? He included it in a list of things that defile us, including murder, theft, and blasphemy.  

“But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.”

Matthew 15:18-20

Are you still thankful for Jesus, or is He just rain on your parade?

4. Claims He is the only way to Heaven?

We love inclusivity, don’t we? Some businesses require a certain percentage of employees to represent people of color, women (whatever they are…), and the LGBTQ+ community. Not to mention, the Academy Awards announced in 2020 that films nominated for Best Picture must hold to a predetermined representation of various groups of people as a part of its Academy Aperture 2025 initiative. For example, at least one of the lead actors or major supporting actors must be a member of an underrepresented racial or ethnic group.  

With all this inclusion, how in the world can a believer possibly say that there is only one way to be saved? That’s pretty judgy, you know. Anyone can find “her truth,” and we should support it. At least, that’s what a lot of “Christians” tell us.

But what about Jesus? Oh, He was crystal clear. It is through Him we are saved. That’s it. You can align your chakras, pet your crystals, mediate on a hilltop, and be a do-gooder until your final breath. But it’ll all be good for nothing.  

“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”

John 14:6

“I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture.”

John 10:9

So, Are You Thankful For Jesus?

The Jesus of the Bible (not one of your imagination) is not an LGBTQ+ advocate, expects your marriage to last a lifetime, commands you to keep sex solely within the marriage covenant, and is your only chance to be reconciled unto God the Father.

If you can’t be thankful for this Jesus, then I ask you to examine your heart and consider where you stand with God. Read through First John, or for a lighter read, check out my testimony, and decide if you have had a born-again experience.

Final Thought

I’ve walked us through some things that are just plain hard to be thankful for sometimes, but I want to leave you with an important reminder. Being thankful for something and enjoying that thing are not always the same. My dad paid for a fun family overnight this year at an indoor water park. I was thankful for his generosity, and I had fun.

On the flip side, my oldest child was born with Group B Strep. I am thankful for her complete healing, and I am thankful for the experience. At the same time, I’m not glad it happened, and it definitely wasn’t fun. However, I saw love and caring from people in my life (and strangers) like never before. I struggled and grew in character and in my faith. Not to mention, it prepared me to take on future challenges with more ease and confidence.

Be open to see what God is doing in your life, and always be ready to come to Him with a thankful heart and appreciation for what He has done and continues to do for you.

Want more on thankfulness? Check out my previous Thanksgiving post: Be Thankful, Even When You’re Not.

Do you struggle being thankful for anything in your life? Tell me about it!

Image courtesy of Kiy Turk via Unsplash.