6 Bible Verses For A Better Marriage

Valentine’s Day is here, and husbands are scrambling to do something romantic and meaningful for their wives. If not, they’re probably creating a safety plan for when they come home empty-handed. (All right. I admit that might be a bit dramatic, but don’t think there isn’t a husband somewhere getting berated for not bringing home flowers.) But even if this Hallmark holiday doesn’t mean much to you, love and marriage are in the air. Specifically, depictions of idealized versions of love and marriage are in the mainstream consciousness. However, if you’re married, then you know movies and music paint a completely unrealistic picture of love. There’s no such thing as happily ever after, but wonderful marriages do exist. And there are Bible verses for a better marriage when things aren’t so wonderful.

Realistic Expectations

If you want to sabotage your marriage, then may I suggest a large serving of unrealistic expectations? You see, before we can begin to talk about Bible verses that can help us in marriage, we must take an honest look at love and marriage. So, that means you need to turn off The Notebook, stop relying on The Office’s Jim and Pam for a roadmap to love, and put down the Karen Kingsbury books for a minute. Hollywood movies and books you can read in one sitting are not going to help you navigate marriage.

Marriage can sometimes be more than we hoped it would be, but it can feel a little disappointing or frustrating, too. Your husband will forget that thing you needed him to remember. He’ll speak harshly to you after a long day. Do you think he tells you everything? Well, you might discover he keeps things from you for any number of benign reasons. Without a doubt, he’ll be selfish. And girl, your husband is going to annoy you more than anyone ever could. Quite the advertisement for marriage, eh?

Truthfully, I highly recommend marriage. Outside of salvation through Jesus, marrying my husband was the best thing to ever happen to me. Most of the time, because I believe we have a healthy marriage, none of what I mentioned above applies. However, the sad truth is he’s not perfect. After getting married, I learned an even sadder truth. Would you believe that I’m not perfect, either? It turns out that I sometimes make my husband’s life harder, speak when I should bite my tongue, stay silent when I should speak up, complain, and annoy him, as well.

Our marriage has been fairly typical in its ups and downs. Unlike many married couples, though, we’ve had help as we walked through challenges. As believers, we have the peace and comfort that comes from being children of God, and we have His Word to guide us through a lifetime together…as imperfect as we may be.

Bible Verses That Will Help Your Marriage

Bible Verses For A Better Marriage #1:

“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:”

Ephesians 5:28-29

I’m starting with the husbands, but godly marriages aren’t on their shoulders alone. Remember that. Moving forward, I could do a deep dive into Ephesians 5 as it relates to marriage, but I would rather spend our time looking at verses from multiple places in the Bible. So, we’ll just make a quick stop here and move on.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever reminded your husband to love you as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25). Oh, fine! Maybe you’re a better person than me, but for the record, I’m usually just joking. Well, sometimes I am. Anyway, that is a tall order for a husband, isn’t it? But it doesn’t end there. Paul emphasizes the husband’s responsibility a few verses later (v. 28-29) by telling husbands to love their wives like they love their own bodies. Nourish her. Cherish her.

I write for women, but I know men read this blog, too. (They are the ones to more frequently argue with me.) If a man reads this, I hope this reminds him of his role in caring for and loving his wife. Gentlemen, your wife comes first. Like Jesus, your love for her should be sacrificial.

Ladies, rather than reminding you that your husband isn’t perfect at this, I hope it reminds you that he is faced with an impossible task. Knowing that he should love and care for you this way, I implore you to encourage him when he gets it right. How? Pointing out his failures isn’t nearly as successful at encouraging him as telling him he did a good job. What would happen if you thanked him for living out biblical love for you?

Instead of saying, “You never think about my needs first,” try saying, “Thank you for staying home tonight with the kids so I could have some time with my friends. I really needed the break.”

Bible Verses For A Better Marriage #2:

“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”

Colossians 3:19 (ESV)

A common allegation that is lobbed at Christianity is that men in the Church are misogynists who mistreat women. Right here, though, men are commanded to love their wives and, specifically, to be gentle with them. Have you veer been in a home with a harsh and bitter husband who talks to his wife as if she isn’t his equal? It’s terrible to witness. It grieves the Spirit because it’s a completely unbiblical way to treat one’s wife.

Together, foster a home of peace, love, laughter, and reverence for God. To be clear, men are responsible for their own actions, but wives can create a harsh tone in the home. Ladies, God isn’t giving us permission to be harsh and bitter, either. We can create an environment we want to live in, and I pray that helps soften men prone to harshness.

Is that all, though? If you’re looking for more to do than to pray and model appropriate behavior, then I suggest you speak with your husband. I think we’d all be amazed at how much our husbands don’t notice and simply need to be told about. If my husband hurt me by treating me harshly, I think he’d feel awful when he found out about it. And I know it would change his behavior. As great as I think he is, he’s not unique on this one. Your husband might react the same way.

NOTE: Abuse is not the same as a husband who is speaking or behaving harshly. If you are experiencing physical abuse or are threatened with it, find a safe place to go and call the police. Or contact the Domestic Abuse Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or https://www.thehotline.org/.

Bible Verses For A Better Marriage #3:

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.”

Colossians 3:18

There it is! It’s every woman’s favorite biblical instruction! Submit. I’ve written about submission in the past, but I’ll reiterate a few points. Submission is not being a doormat, accepting abuse, a right for husbands to sin, or even agreement with that to which you have submitted. Additionally, it must be a willing act from the wife.

The fact is, y’all, a home with two heads won’t function. A married couple needs to be of one mind, and sometimes we have to submit when we aren’t in step together for the sake of unity in the home.

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Despite wives being instructed to submit to their husbands, a healthy marital relationship doesn’t require it as much as some people want you to think. I allow my husband to lead, but because he loves me sacrificially, he often thinks about my preferences and needs before his own. In addition, because I’m his partner in this life, he values my input and seeks my counsel and opinions (which is good because I’m not sure I could hold those back).

Our marriage rarely looks like two people standing in strong opposition to each other while I begrudgingly “give in” to his demands. That’s not the biblical model. On the other hand, I have felt strongly about a few things over these last fifteen years but ultimately submitted and gave it to God. You know what? Everything turned out fine, and I realized my hesitancy to submit is often my sinful desire to control everything.

Friends, biblical submission is a good thing, and it helps develop and maintain a healthy, happy, and God-honoring marriage.

Bible Verses For A Better Marriage #4:

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

Ephesians 4:32

This verse isn’t only for married couples. All Christians should apply this instruction to their lives, but it is essential to a strong Christian marriage. Kindness and forgiveness are typically easy to have in the early stages of a marriage, but they begin to melt away after years of the same flaws and shortcomings reappearing in the relationship. The honeymoon period ends, and you realize this guy is absolutely what your friends, family, and pastor said. Human!

Marriage, though, gives us a unique ability to demonstrate Christ in our lives. For example, my husband has had countless opportunities to forgive me for being selfish and negative over the course of our marriage. And I suspect he will have more opportunities. Personally, I wouldn’t blame him for becoming combative with me over some of the dumb things I’ve done and said, but this man (annoyingly) responds gently and is willing to forgive me. Again.

Without forgiveness our marriage couldn’t last. No marriage could. We offer grace to each other, however imperfectly, and commit to turning to the Lord to help us. How could we not do this when Jesus took on the cross so that we could be forgiven? I don’t deserve God’s forgiveness, but it has been mercifully given to me. So, perhaps my husband will do or say something one day that I don’t think deserves my forgiveness. Even so, for the sake of our marriage and because of Jesus’ sacrifice, I will forgive.

Bible Verses For A Better Marriage #5:

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

Proverbs 3:5

I love this verse. I can’t think of a situation in which it doesn’t apply. How often do we think we know best or believe some worldly teaching has a better answer than the Bible? I don’t actually have an answer for that, but let’s just say it happens a lot.

Let’s think about what we “know” about marriage in our own wisdom.

1. Men and women should share all the same roles in the home.

2. Husbands don’t have any say about family size.

3. Marriage should make you happy.

4. Strong, masculine husbands are toxic. (Down with the patriarchy!)

5. Close personal friendships with members of the opposite sex are not potential landmines to a marriage.

6. Divorce is fine for the kids.

7. Marriage is a quid pro quo endeavor.

I could go on, but you get the point. None of those common beliefs about marriage can be supported biblically. Yet, many couples, even Christian ones, live by the world’s wisdom. When we think we know better than God about marriage, we’re doomed.

If we are struggling to know what to do next in our marriages when we face something difficult, turn to God’s Word. The same is true for the advice we receive. Thank whoever gave you the advice and then compare it to what Scripture says. Take it seriously if it agrees with the Bible, and toss it aside of it contradicts the Word of God. We don’t know best, so we should rely on the One who does.

Bible Verses For A Better Marriage #6:

“What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Mark 10:9 (ESV)

Marriage is for a lifetime. Yes, there are a couple of biblical loopholes that allow for divorce, but most of the excuses people use to divorce aren’t backed by Scripture.

Marriage is a covenant with one another and God. A married couple vows to stay together and work through whatever comes their way, but too often they break those promises. Maybe we focus too much on the romantic feelings of love and too little on the day-to-day decision to love the person we married. Perhaps the grass looks a lot greener outside the marriage. Whatever the reason, divorce has become common and easy.

This verse is a simple reminder that we need to work through this. (Whatever this happens to be.) Not everyone thinks about divorce, but every marriage will eventually face struggles that feel like the marriage will never be all right again. Those dark times can lead to dark thoughts, can’t they? Instead, we can turn to God and remember He is the center of our marriage, and we’re meant to stay in this until the end. By the way, God decides when the end is going to be.

Rather than give up, see challenges as opportunities to draw closer to God and your husband. Be a team and work out the problem.

Final Thought

“You may kiss the bride,” and the scene gently fades to black. The wedding is romantic in a movie but just the beginning in real life. Marriage is filled with joy and blessings, but it will have its fair share of trials and tribulations, as well. Where should we turn? How do we move forward? Well, we start with prayer and the Word.

The Bible has a lot to say on marriage and how believers should treat one another. These six verses help me keep perspective and remind me that marriage isn’t about me. Ultimately, it’s about Him.

What verses help you in a difficult season in marriage?

Image courtesy of freestocks via Unsplash.