10 Habits Of Good Christian Fathers

Our current culture diminishes fathers’ inherent value in families. Modern feminists choose to raise kids without a man in their lives, usurp their husbands in the home concerning child-rearing, and/or vilify men who fit the “cisgender” label. Fathers, however, are incredibly important figures in the family unit. According to fatherhood.org, children in fatherless homes are more likely to have behavioral problems, obesity, delinquent behavior, poor school performance, and drug use. But let’s be careful about how we look at this because fathers need to be more than just present. In fact, Christian fathers have a high bar set for them by the perfect Father.

The Best Father

As Christians, we are privileged to be children of God. No human father, no matter how hard he tries, can match the love, forgiveness, grace, and care that God the Father gives us. Before a man can even think about how to be a good father, he needs to consider the perfect example we have in God.

God Is A Father To The Fatherless

This has been one of the most meaningful aspects of God’s character to me. I have a father, and I love him very much. However, he is plagued with the same condition from which we all suffer. He’s human. Thanks to my parents’ divorce and my bumpy transition into the Christian faith, our relationship has faced some hard times.

A complicated or difficult relationship with a father can make someone feel abandoned, alone, uncertain, and hurt. Nevertheless, our Heavenly Father is always available to His children with a perfect love. No parent can offer that.

Whether we feel like we have no father because of a falling out, our father died, or we never knew our father, God can and will fill that gap in our lives. He can love, comfort, and provide for us when we don’t have that from our earthly father.

“When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.”

Psalm 27:10

Our Heavenly Father Gives Us Gifts

My parents didn’t have a lot of money when I was young. They struggled financially, and my dad would take extra jobs sometimes to ensure I had Christmas gifts.

One year, I desperately wanted the new doll every girl had to have that year. I think it was P.J. Sparkles.

After opening all my gifts, P.J. Sparkles was nowhere to be seen. I smiled and thanked my family for everything, but deep down I felt very disappointed. My dad went to the kitchen to make breakfast and called out for me to join him because he found something that seemed out of place. A large box wrapped in Christmas paper sat in our pantry, and my dad said it had my name on it.

Immediately, I knew what it was. You do, too. It was my P.J. Sparkles doll! I was ecstatic. As a mom, I only appreciate this moment more. My dad worked extra hard to give me everything I wanted for Christmas, and I am positive my joy and excitement made it all worthwhile to him.

As wonderful a moment as that was, that hardly compares to the gifts we receive from God the Father. Every breath I breathe is a gift. The world around me, my family, coffee, autumn… The list never ends. There are so many things in which I take pleasure. God didn’t need to give these beautiful gifts to us, but He did because they demonstrate His glory and He loves us.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.”

James 1:17

“If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”

Matthew 7:11

Of course, the best gift He has given us is salvation through His son, Jesus Christ.

“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”

Ephesians 2:8-9

God Loves Us More Than Any Earthly Father

Salvation leads us to just how much God the Father loves us. I’ve known families who love each other so much that they have actually made an idol of their family. But even in families like those, their love for each other doesn’t even come close to God’s love.

We deserve nothing but punishment for our sins. When I think of the vitriol with which I put down Christians and their make-believe “sky god,” I can hardly understand how God could possibly still love me. Not only that, but He willingly accepted me into His family as an adopted daughter.

We think we love our kids as much as God, but our children have never tested us, pushed us away, and actively despised us like God’s own creation has done to Him.

“We love him, because he first loved us.”

1 John 4:19

“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

Romans 5:8

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

John 3:16

God Corrects His Children

A good father doesn’t allow his children to do whatever they like without restrictions and parameters. Unpopular opinion: Some behaviors and words are not acceptable. I know, crazy, right? When a child disobeys her father, a loving dad must correct her. All actions have consequences, and it is a father’s obligation to ensure his children learn that lesson and how to do better in the future.

If our earthly fathers must correct and discipline, then we can count on our Heavenly Father to do exactly that.

“My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”

Proverbs 3:11-12

God The Father Provides For Our Needs

I’m a worrier. I tend to have a lot of concerns about how we will be able to care for our family’s needs. And do you know what? It’s an absolute waste of my time. I don’t need to worry because God meets my needs.

Sure, sometimes God meets our needs in ways we don’t expect or wouldn’t have even preferred, but He cares for us and provides. Don’t take that as encouragement to wait around for God’s special delivery to show up at your door with cash, clothes, and groceries. That’s not how that works. Usually…

I have seen God provide for believers with job opportunities, charitable organizations, friends who felt convicted to give something despite not knowing there was a need, and many other ways by using the people and organizations in the community. God the Father sees us, knows our needs, and is faithful to provide.

“Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?”

Matthew 6:26

God The Father Forgives

Christians have been forgiven at salvation, but God continues to forgive us as we sin throughout our lives. Oh, how I wish we could never sin again after being saved, but we are going to struggle with our flesh until we are finally in the presence of the Lord.

Sanctification is a process of becoming more Christlike, and we should certainly see less sin as we spiritually grow. Nonetheless, we will predictably fall short of perfection, and the Father will readily forgive us when we confess our sins and seek His forgiveness.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

1 John 1:9

Habits Of Good Christian Fathers

With God the Father in mind, it’s time to look at the habits of good Christian fathers.

1. Christian fathers provide for more than just physical needs.

Some dads go to work all day, and then they retreat to themselves once they are home. Some of these men will say, “Isn’t it good enough that I work all day?” They might focus on the fact that they do “their part” for the family by making money so everyone has what they need.

The bad news for these guys, though, is that the bare minimum is not enough. As the spiritual leaders of the home, Christian fathers need to spend intentional time discipling their children. Not only should fathers teach their children about God, but they ought to demonstrate Christlikeness through love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

None of that can happen if dear old dad locks himself in the garage all night tinkering on projects and watching the game.

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (emphasis mine)

Ephesians 6:4

2. Christian fathers disciple their children.

Good Christian dads, as I already said, disciple their children. That looks different from home to home, but it undoubtedly means that Jesus is not reserved for Sundays only.

Discipleship should happen every day throughout the day. Every conversation won’t be explicitly about Jesus, but fathers can take opportunities as they appear to foster Christian character and a love for Jesus. Christ should be seamlessly woven into a father’s life, making discipleship natural and authentic.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Proverbs 22:6

3. Christian fathers serve others.

In high school I had a strange experience at a new friend’s house. I was invited over to dinner, and this was also when I was going to meet her parents and brother. My friend’s mother set out all the food and we sat down for our meal (Kentucky Fried Chicken), and then things got weird.

No one was allowed to touch the food while her mother filled her father’s plate. Then, we had to wait until he began to eat. I’d never seen anything like that, but I assumed my family was probably the one doing meals wrong. But then, this man (who I met literally 10 minutes prior) told me to go into the kitchen and get him a glass of milk. He didn’t ask (not that I think that would have been appropriate either). He looked me straight in the eye and commanded me. I didn’t move.

My friend saw the shock in my face and was instantly embarrassed, so she hopped up and told her father she would get it for him. The entire meal was hoops for the rest of us to jump through. It was intensely uncomfortable, and his children were obviously afraid of him. This father lived to be served by others.

Christ, though He had every right to, did not treat those around Him like His personal servants. Rather, Jesus ministered to those around Him. A father who uses his children as his servants is not reflecting Christ. And he isn’t loving others as Christ taught us to with His time on Earth.

“Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.”

Matthew 20:28

“So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you? Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet.”

John 13:12-14

Children will learn to serve others, and they will learn from witnessing a servant’s heart in their father.

4. Christian fathers correct their children.

We all know this kid. The kid whose parents let her get away with everything.

A child with an overly permissive father doesn’t learn consequences, appropriate behavior, or even other people’s value. I know these fathers love their children, but withholding correction and discipline is unloving. Good Christian fathers know that truly caring for their children requires correction.

“For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.”

Hebrews 12:6

“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”

Proverbs 13:24

5. Christian fathers lead their families.

Our current culture appears to be emasculating men as quickly as possible. Women are taking over the leadership role in the home, more women are earning four-year college degrees than men, and men are encouraged to live as women as though it’s a healthy, normal lifestyle.

When men disregard the cultural drift to Leftist thinking, they are deemed homophobic, heteronormative, racist, misogynistic, or worse, a Trumper.

Here’s the truth. The Bible clearly puts men at the head of the home…sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.

Getting The House In Order

Ephesians 6 instructs children to obey their parents. The Scripture goes on to warn fathers against provoking their children to anger. This word, provoke, can be understood as irritate, exasperate, or incite. In order to avoid this, a father’s leadership ought to be loving, patient, and kind.

For those who would argue the mother can also be the leader in the home because the children are expected to obey her, I submit to you (no pun intended) Ephesians 5.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”

Ephesians 5: 22-24

(This isn’t a post about marriage or submission. If you want more on submission, click HERE.)

To be a godly father, a man has got to lead his household. He doesn’t need to be, nor should he be, a cruel dictator who fuels up on power. That isn’t very Christlike. However, he does need to step up and oversee his home.

6. Christian fathers extend grace to their children.

Have you ever had absolutely enough with your child? Has your patience been tested beyond the breaking point, and you’re about to “drop the hammer” for an insignificant infraction? No? Me neither. But let’s pretend for a second that we aren’t both lying.

My husband has been so good about this over the years. I have a shorter fuse, and I’m with the kids five-on-one much more than he is giving me more opportunities to “be done” with one of our children. As I sit and decide what this child deserves, my husband thinks for ways to demonstrate grace.

My children have consequences for their sin, but at appropriate times, my husband extends grace to them because he loves them and wants to take a moment to show them a taste of God’s grace.

It opens up great opportunities to learning, conversation, and building our relationship with the kids. It also serves as a reminder to the parents. What if God schemed ways to dish out what I deserve? Praise the Lord, He opted to show me, and all His children, unmerited favor. Grace.

Good Christian fathers understand how ludicrous it is to show no mercy or grace toward our children when God the Father has offered the greatest example of grace that could ever be. Salvation.

7. Christian fathers are good husbands.

Unhealthy marriages, whether or not they end in divorce, affect the children. The kids feel insecure about the future of their family, they learn romantic love looks like their parents’ unhealthy relationship, and the picture of a father is often tainted.

A healthy Christian marriage shows sacrificial love, security, safety, and trust. I have no data for this, so take my opinion as you will. But I think one of the reasons people reject God is because they have hang-ups with their fathers. If I see my dad as untrustworthy, selfish, and unloving, then why would I want another Father to come into the picture? I would believe He was destined to fail, too.

Christian husbands have been called to big things in Ephesians.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:” (emphasis mine)

Ephesians 5:25-29

All of these instructions for husbands are creating a picture of Jesus and the Church. It is a supernatural love that no husband will ever perform perfectly, but it is a beautiful picture of Christ’s love for His Church (aka: the Bride).

A good Christian father understands how important his relationship with his wife is to help his children to grow up understanding Jesus and how to love another person.

8. Christian fathers pray.

A good father knows he can’t possibly do the dad gig well all on his own. Christian fathers pray for their children and for God’s guidance as a parent. If your knees aren’t bloody, you aren’t praying enough, mom and dad.

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”

Philippians 4:6

“Pray without ceasing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:17

9. Christian fathers are students of the Word.

None of us will ever reach the moment when there is nothing more we can learn from God’s Word. I have spoken to believers who have been Christians for forty or more years who insist they can read a passage they’ve known since childhood and suddenly God will reveal more Truth.

Christian fathers need continual nourishment from the Word, as we all do, but they also get to model a love for the Bible to their children. It’s cliché but true. With kids, more is caught than taught. We can’t tell kids to study their Bible and neglect our own study. They need to see dads engaging with the Word, not just hear about it.

10. Christian fathers do everything for the Lord.

Moms burn out, and we sometimes end up resenting things like housework. We end up feeling like “just” a housewife. The same kind of thoughts can affect fathers.

Maybe dad is tired of going to his boring or stressful job every day because he would rather be home with his family. He might need to give up a hobby, spend more time doing projects around the house, or comfort his wife (again!) after another long day with the kids. But what about his plans and wants? Why does his life feel so much smaller than he imagined it would be?

Dads, everything you do is for God’s glory. Just ask a housewife about the glory she gives God when she folds another load of laundry. Really, it’s a thing.

“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.”

1 Corinthians 10:31

Christian fathers know the reasonable service they are to do for God.

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” (emphasis mine)

Romans 12:1

Final Thought

Being a dad is no joke. The moment the nurse hands you that tiny, defenseless person who makes your heart melt, you know your life will never be the same. Then, the hospital packs that baby up and sends you home together. They, like, think you’re going to able to raise this baby!

Thankfully, you can because God left you an instructional manual. The Bible has everything we need to raise our children.

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.”

2 Timothy 3:16-17

There’s no perfect list of things to do to be a good Christian father, but there’s one general rule of thumb to follow. Know your Heavenly Father, and do your best to follow His example.

What would you recommend Christian fathers do?

Image courtesy of Vitolda Klein via Unsplash.